Addicted
by 9876grpc
Summary: Post-Hogwarts story that takes place when they're all 21 and assumes they have become somewhat normal young adults that like to party and date (shocker). Hermione is recovering from her split with Ron and Harry has become a bit of a ladies man. The story starts the night that lines are crossed...
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This is an original story I'm working on that I realized could be adapted quite easily to fit Harry Potter. This takes place when they're all 21 and assumes they have become somewhat normal young adults that like to party and date. I know that in and of it self is a bit of a stretch but let me know what you think! Also, AU, Lavender is alive.

One Today

Years from now, I would look back on today and realize it was the day it all started. Today would be the day when he became more than just a friend; more than my ex-boyfriends best friend, more than my best friends ex-boyfriend. Today would be the day all the lines would start to blur, friendships would start to be strained and common sense would start to fly out the window.

 **Today would be the day that I became addicted to him.**

I suppose I should give you some background before I tell you anymore. I was still getting over a year long relationship that I thought was absolutely perfect, only to be told by my boyfriend Ron that he didn't feel the same. Needless to say I was crushed. I spiraled into a deep depression and a year later I was finally feeling more like myself. Of course, the anti-depressants helped with that. But I was changed, the experience of loving someone so completely, and thinking you would spend forever with this person, only to have it ripped away from you, well, that has a way of leaving an imprint on you.

I know, slightly dramatic but I was 20 and in love for heavens sake, at the time I couldn't see otherwise. What made the breakup so damn difficult was that we were constantly around each other. We were part of the same group of friends, so every weekend, I was forced to be around him and see how absolutely unaffected he was. It was a living hell for a long time but it was getting better, I swear it was.

Now back to today. It was a rare occasion that my ex, Ron, wasn't out with us and I felt liberated. Free to have a good time without the constant pang in my heart. There was a group of us as always and we headed to a party. Now before I get to the juicy parts, let me fill you on who's at the party:

Hermione- that's me! I'm pretty but not gorgeous, a little too plain and depending on my mood I could be reserved and shy or completely outrageous (but I need a lot to drink).

Harry- HIM! Completely gorgeous, medium height and handsome, ladies man…all the warning signs are flashing DANGER! He has a girlfriend that he is constantly on the outs with (Ginny), plus he's got this weird 'friends with benefits' thing going on with Luna.

Lavender- fun, flirty, and voluptuous; since my breakup with Ron she's most often my partner in crime. I can admit I've gone off the deep end a bit, but I'm enjoying myself… anyway, Lavender is currently dating Dean.

Luna-annoys the hell out of most us but for some strange reason we still love her. She has a complicated relationship with Harry that is more than friends with benefits but less than boyfriend/girlfriend. It's not easily definable. She's pretty but odd.

Dean- A complete sweetie; He's cute and has that skateboarder style going for him. A past crush of mine, but is currently dating Lavender.

Padma - brutally honest. Petite. Likes to have a good time. We're not that close but Luna is close with her so we end up together a lot. She has a hopeless crush on Neville, who didn't come out with us tonight.

OK, now back to the party…we spent the first hour talking and binge drinking so that we had a buzz then we turned the radio up and got settled around a game that Padma brought. It was a drinking game that made you do silly ridiculous things. We hadn't played this particular game before, otherwise I would have been more hesitant to play or at least more cautious about where I sat. I sat next to Harry (a.k.a. HIM) and on his other side was Lavender. Across from us were Padma, Dean and Luna.

"Who's going first?" asked Padma

We all shrug and she huffs and rolls the dice, "six" she says moving her piece six places then reads, "pull your pants down and moon everyone or drink for one minute straight." It's still early in the night so she drinks.

Dean is next and he rolls, moves his piece, then reads, "Kiss the person to your right," he raises his eyes and glances at Lavender who for some reason isn't sitting next to him. She shrugs and he turns to Luna and makes out with her for a minute.

Shit! Now I'm starting to squirm, I didn't know I would have to make out with anybody! I'm so not making out with a girl and SHIT Harry is sitting next to me and is my ex's best friend…a big NO! Also, he's got this weird thing going on with Luna plus he's got a girlfriend (Ginny). I mean how much more complicated could it get? I'm panicking and before I realize it it's my turn. I have no idea what the others just did for their turn; I was so focused on my internal anxiety. I take a huge drink in the hopes that I suddenly become drunk enough that I'll stop thinking about all of this…I roll and move my piece 4 places, then read, "fill your cup, then chug the entire thing." I breathe a huge sigh of relief and thank the gods, happily chugging my drink.

By the time it's my turn again, I'm feeling a little drunk, so am much less anxious. Lavender just had to make out with Harry and it looked quite heated. Squirming in my seat, I roll, move my piece and read, "Make out with the person to your left for 5 minutes straight." FUCK ME! I'm no chicken so I take a huge gulp of my drink and turn to Harry, who's smirking like crazy. Lavender is laughing at me and Luna is giving me the evil eye while Padma looks disgusted and Dean looks amused.

"Someone has to time them," says Lavender laughing

I roll my eyes at her and before I can do anything Harry has his hands on my face and is kissing me. HOLY SHIT! I gasp slightly and we both open our eyes for a minute, each looking equally shocked, before we close them again and continue with our kiss. This feels amazing! Forget five minutes, I don't ever want to stop kissing him. His tongue is doing delicious things in my mouth and I'm pretty sure I just moaned a little. I can only describe it as electric; my body feels like its on fire and I'm completely aroused. We've moved closer together and his hands are still on my face, but they are more forceful than before, like he's demanding that I continue to kiss him. My arms are now around his neck and I keep trying to pull him closer but our knees are getting in the way. Just when I'm thinking of pushing him back on the bed so I can straddle him, something disturbs my thoughts…

"TIME!" shouts Luna

Harry and I pull apart, and I see the desire in his eyes but also a bit of awe and confusion. I shake my head and look to Luna who's obviously angry.

"Took you two long enough! We must have said time, like 10 times," said Lavender laughing and raising her eyebrows at us.

Harry just laughs and says, "What can I say, I'm that good."

I keep quiet, but my thoughts are bouncing around in my head like crazy. _Holy shit, that was the best kiss I have ever had._ I realize that we are sitting very close together still and our thighs are touching. As I'm looking down, Harry nudges his leg into mine and I look up surprised. He beams this heart-stopping smile at me and I know it right then, that I'm done for. I practically melt in that moment. I look away and grab my drink, chugging it quickly. I look at Dean and he's looking at me curiously. It's his turn now and somehow we've come to part of the game that I didn't realize was there…removing clothes. As Dean takes off his shirt, I internally hope that Harry has to do the same, but then I panic thinking I might also have to take off my shirt.

Six rounds later, I am definitely drunk and we have all lost our tops. I'm thankful I'm wearing one of my nicer bra's that pushes my B cups up and shows a fair amount of cleavage, especially since Lavender is much bigger than me. She's a big C cup so I'm feeling slightly inadequate right now. However, Luna, who's also a B cup doesn't have a bra that pushes her up or shows cleavage, so she looks much smaller than me. I feel inappropriately happy about this.

Luna and Dean have kissed a few more times, as have Harry and Lavender but I haven't gotten another chance at Harry yet. Padma has stopped playing, as she is somewhat disgusted with all of our incestuous kissing, which I find quite odd since she brought the game. Anyway, right now I'm really not thinking about anything other than how much I want to kiss Harry again. In fact, I'm a little worried that I'm going to jump his bones soon. I think he's feeling the same way because every now and then he rubs his hand against my thigh, making me take in a huge breath of air. The atmosphere is charged around us; we're so turned on.

 _ **How is it possible to feel this way from a single kiss?**_


	2. Chapter 2

Two It Begins

After we decided we were bored with the game, I got up and went to the loo. When I returned I realized everyone had left the room, leaving me alone with Harry. He smirked as he made his way over to me, grabbing an extra beer on the way and handing it to me as he sat down on the couch next to me.

I spit out a quick "Thanks," before taking a big nervous gulp of the beer.

He smiled confidently at me and moved his arm so that it was draped across the back of the couch and somewhat around me, making me even more nervous.

What the hell was wrong with me? This is your friend, Hermione! You've known him for years, so stop acting like a silly schoolgirl with a crush _._

I looked away from his gaze and fidgeted somewhat but I stopped when I felt the faintest brush of his leg against mine. He was wearing jeans and the rough fabric rubbing against the bare skin of my thigh made me jump. I stared at the spot where our legs were touching and held my breath.

He's Ron's best friend; he's off limits!

Then it happened. He reached over with his left hand and lifted up my chin to look me in the eyes for a minute before he closed the gap between us and kissed me. I immediately closed my eyes and reacted to the kiss. It was fucking amazing and grew in intensity quickly.

We continued to kiss until we ran out of oxygen and even then took only the smallest of breaks. He was devouring me and I loved it. At first my hands were wrapped around him pulling him closer but soon one hand was in his hair and the other was un-tucking his shirt from his jeans so I could put my hand directly on his skin.

He was doing his fair share of groping as well. He had practically pulled me onto his lap and one hand had worked its way from the bare skin of my thigh up under my shorts cupping my ass. The other hand was holding my head in place so that he could ravish me.

Believe me I had no problem with that at all, ravish away…

He leaned over me, pushing me to lie back on the couch with his weight. God, he was smooth. He managed to get one of his legs between mine and pushed up against me with his right knee, making me moan. Good lord I was practically humping him now. His hands were everywhere and my body was on fire. I've never felt so alive…so fucking alive.

He ripped his lips away from mine and we stared at each other for a few seconds, both completely overcome with desire. "Mione?"

I knew it was a question. This was the point of no return. But I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. I could barely breathe…my body and my brain were both heavy with desire. Just yes. Yes, yes, yes. Whatever you want Harry keep doing it. I never actually answered him out loud but I think he got the message when I pulled him back to me to devour his mouth again.

He moaned and shoved his right hand under my thigh and hoisted it up and to the right to make more room for him to fit. He kept his hand on my thigh, squeezing it tightly as he ground into me, both of us still fully clothed.

Looking back I can't believe my behavior. There were people just in the other room. We weren't even in a bedroom for Merlin's sake, just wide open in the living room, sprawled out on a couch, most definitely about to have sex. Was I drunk? Maybe. OK, I probably was. Should I be drinking while on medication for depression? Probably not. OK, definitely not. Did I think either of these things was making me act this way? No. Did I want to shag Harry, right here, right now, regardless of who walked in? Absolutely. I wanted him and I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone in my life. No excuses.

Decision made I pulled and tugged until his shirt was over his head and threw it to the floor. He grinned lasciviously down at me then tugged my tank top up and over my head, throwing it behind him somewhere.

"Fuck," he groaned before he tossed his glasses to the floor and began layering kisses across the top of my breasts. A second later and he had unhooked my bra, tossing that as well. He immediately grabbed my right breast and sucked on my nipple, sending my head crashing back as I moaned wantonly. His left hand moved to my left breast and then his mouth followed. For several minutes he was happy to go between them, lathering his attention on them until I grew impatient.

I growled and dragged my nails up his back, making sure to scratch him enough to cause pain, expressing my displeasure with his delay. He hissed obviously getting the hint and pulled away, kneeling above me. He was angry, I could see it in his eyes but I didn't care. I narrowed my eyes at him. Hurry the fuck up. He clenched his jaw and undid his belt and jeans, pushing them down at the same time as his tight fitted black boxers.

I smirked and undid my own jean shorts, pulling my legs up in front of him enough so that I could take them off without moving away. He seemed to appreciate my flexibility and I had barely taken my shorts off before he pounced and started devouring my clit.

Holy fucking shit! I wrapped my hands in his hair and pulled his face closer, moaning incoherently. He kept this up for several minutes until I was begging for him to fuck me.

"Harry, please!"

He pulled away grinning madly before he looked to the floor and grabbed his pants, pulling a condom out of his pocket. He tore into it with his teeth and quickly put it on. Within seconds he was pushing into me, grabbing both of my legs and wrapping them around his waist, before he proceeded to give me the best shag of my life.

I can't even express how good of a fuck he gave me. Hard and fast, then slow, and then fast again, but always hard. We fucked for such a long time and he was so thick, really thick that after a while I was sore. Really sore. So much so I found myself pushing against his chest to stop him. He looked at me confused; I was obviously enjoying it with the constant moaning. "It hurts," I whispered.

He nodded, almost like he'd heard it before and said, "Do you want me to stop?" I shook my head no and he nodded, again, like this was a common occurrence for him. Then he said, "hold on, I'll try and be quick," and proceeded to speed up, so much so that I was begging him to stop, tears running down my face from the pain. He only needed a minute at this speed before he was bursting his release into me. Then he collapsed on top of me and kissed the side of my neck, breathing heavily.

I tried to control myself and calm down but I was in so much pain, that I ended up sniffling a bit, which caused him to move off me and look into my eyes. Concern flooded his eyes and he quickly reached up to wipe the tears off my face. I smiled at him and tried to tell him I was fine but I couldn't get the words out. He rubbed my cheek tenderly and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

I gave him a watery smile and pulled him in for a gentle kiss. We stayed that way, kissing sweetly for so long I couldn't believe it. Harry liked to cuddle!

He pulled away finally and said, "I'm just going to run to the bathroom, throw this away." He gestured to the condom then said, "I'll be right back."

I nodded and watched him go, only sitting up when he was in the bathroom. I looked around blearily, wondering what the fuck I just did. My heart was already hurting a bit, never mind the throbbing that was making itself known between my legs. I wiped my face, then got up and gathered my underwear and tank top, leaving my bra and shorts on the floor. I pulled them on, noticing there was blood smeared on the insides of my thighs. Ouch. I was going to be sore for days to come. I gently put my underwear back on then pulled my tank top over my head just in time to see Harry exit the bathroom. He grinned at me and pulled me in for a scorching kiss when he was close enough, rubbing my ass with his hands.

I pulled back, smiled shyly at him then nodded towards the bathroom. He smiled and let me go. I turned before I shut the bathroom door and saw him put on his boxers. I shut the door, and put my head against it, closing my eyes and wondering yet again, what the hell I had just done. I shook my head trying to break my thoughts and proceeded to clean myself up. I nearly screamed when I peed, it hurt so much. I pulled myself back together and sighed knowing I was going to be in pain for days…

I exited the bathroom and saw Harry laying on the couch with a blanket, patting the space next to him and smiling at me. I instantly brightened and crawled in next to him and he quickly resumed our cuddling. We spent what felt like hours kissing before we finally fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms as the sun was just starting to come up. My last conscious thoughts were so scattered …

I feel so at peace.

What are we going to do now?

I could get used to being in his arms.

What about Ron? And Ginny? And Luna?

They're all going to hate me.

Merlin, help me.

But I think I might be in love with him.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Harry Potter

Author's note: Angst warning. Hermione's conscience catches up with her.

I was roused out of unconsciousness when Harry accidently whacked my knee while trying to get off the couch. "Ouch."

"Shit, sorry."

I rolled onto my stomach and massaged my knee, "It's fine." I could hear the others up and about and buried my head under the pillow. I really did that last night, didn't I? Fuck. How was I going to face everyone? Luna was going to be pissed that was for sure but what about everyone else?

"Morning Sunshine!"

"Ugh."

"Come on Hermione, it's time to get up," squealed Lavender.

"No."

"Fine, stay there, but you've got to dish on last night!" she whispered gleefully.

"Lav…"

"So did you two do it? Was he good? Is he big?"

"Lavender!" I screeched, as I sat up horrified.

"What?" she asked as she handed me some water.

"I am not talking about this."

"Come on, you totally owe me for keeping the others out of here last night."

I groaned and covered my face with my hands and asked, "Does everyone hate me?"

"What? No, of course not. Although maybe Luna… it's hard to tell she went to sleep as soon as she realized you two were alone in here."

"Ugh."

"Whatever, it's not like he's exclusive with her or anything."

"Merlin, what was I thinking."

"I don't think you were. But you needed it. You've been such a mess over Ron."

"Oh my God."

"I know. Honestly, it's been too long, it's time for you to move on."

"No, Lav… Ron! I completely forgot about Ron… Fuck! Shit. Fuck! Shit."

"I don't understand… isn't the whole point for you to get over him?"

"NO! I mean yes, but not by having sex with Harry! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. They're best friends Lav! Shit, what am I going to do? What if Ron finds out?"

"I hate to break it to you love but he's going to find out. You don't think Luna is going to tell him first chance she gets?"

"Ugh. Just kill me now."

"Stop being so dramatic and tell me about last night," said Lavender as she poked me in the side.

I held up my hands and said, "Yeah, OK, but not here. I'll tell you later when it's just us."

She pouted and asked, "Can't you give me something to tie me over till then?"

I rolled my eyes and moved to get up, noticing how sore I was, and said, "Good Lav, really good."

She squealed and clapped her hands as I gingerly bent down to grab my shorts and pull them on. She saw me wince several times and giggled like crazy. "Will you shut up!" I snapped

"Sorry!" she replied, but it was obvious she was taking great pleasure in my discomfort.

I flipped her my middle finger before I slammed the bathroom door closed. As I cleaned myself up I tried to pull myself together mentally… I can do this. I can. Lav is right, he's not exclusive with Luna. I'm an adult and so is he. We're just two consenting adults having sex. Really great sex… There's nothing wrong with what we did. Nothing at all. After all Ron broke up with me, the bastard. And it's been almost a year since we broke up. Fuck him. Well, obviously not literally but still. Screw him and what he thinks. And Luna too. Well, actually I don't mean that. I really didn't think about Luna at all and that's kind of awful of me. I'll just have to do my best to try and fix things. Besides it's not like Harry and I are going to start dating or anything. Are we? No. Don't go there Hermione. You know how many witches he spends time with… plus there's Ginny. Fuck. Forgot about her too. I'm a horrible person. I deserve to die a horrible death. My internal dialogue was interrupted by a knock on the door and I experienced a moment of panic before I huffed and opened the door to see Luna.

"Sorry, didn't mean to take so long," I said as I exited the bathroom, barely making eye contact with her.

She just huffed and slammed the door closed.

"Awkward," chimed in Dean from the doorway.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"How are you?"

I blushed and looked away, "Fine."

"Hermione," he repeated, coming closer to me.

"I'm fine, Dean, really."

"Are you sure, because you really weren't yourself last night?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and waited for him to continue.

He raised his hands in surrender and said, "I'm just worried about you is all. You've had a rough year and I don't want you to get hurt again."

"Aww," I said as I moved over and hugged him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"God, no." I cringed just thinking about talking to him about this.

He chuckled and pulled back and said, "Fine, but if you change your mind you know where to find me."

"Yes, I do."

"And Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Just be careful."

"Dean…"

"…"

"Fine. I'll be careful."

"That's my girl."

"You making the moves on my girl now, Dean?" asked Harry, as he came into the room and pulled me into his arms.

I absolutely did not feel faint in his arms. At all. Nor did my stomach flip when he called me his girl. Nope.

Dean laughed until Luna exited the bathroom. She glared at Harry and I, before moving to the kitchen. Padma appeared a few seconds later and glared at us as well before shutting the bathroom door.

I had tensed up significantly in Harry's arms so he leaned down and kissed my ear, then my neck. Curse my body but I relaxed immediately and I think I even moaned. I vaguely remember Dean saying something as he left the room but Harry had turned me around and then he was kissing me, like he couldn't get enough of me and I was lost. His hands were in my hair and he was holding me so tightly that I couldn't stop even if I wanted to, and I definitely didn't want to stop. After a few minutes he pulled back and said, "Wow."

"Yeah."

"Last night was amazing."

"Yeah."

His eyes twinkled and he moved one of his hands to my ass and pulled me closer to him, so I could feel his erection. "I want you again."

I whimpered. I fucking whimpered. Disgraceful.

"Right here. Right now. Again and again."

I tried to respond I did, but I fucking wanted him and he knew it.

Padma exited the bathroom and cleared her throat loudly, causing Harry to look at her over my head. He flashed her a smile that had her huffing as she left the room. He had such a mischievous look on his face that I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?"

"You… you just look … so … cute."

He beamed at me and said, "Thanks."

I nodded and pulled myself out of his embrace, causing him to frown. "We should get going."

"Yeah. OK."

As I put everything back to rights he watched me. I could tell I had hurt his feelings somehow but I was trying to protect myself. This was a one-night thing. I couldn't expect this to go any further. Right?

The rest of the morning went by in a blur. We stopped to get breakfast and there was so much tension I could barely stand it. Harry was flirting openly with me and kept stealing bites of food from my plate then he would suddenly give me a chaste kiss before continuing whatever conversation he was having with Dean and Lavender. I kept feeling my heart flutter every time he paid attention to me. God I was pathetic. Had I been without affection for so long that this is what I've turned into? No, I knew it wasn't just affection, it was Harry's affection and that was profoundly scary. He could really do a number on me if I wasn't careful.

I was broken out of my revelry when Luna giggled at something Harry said and I wondered what I had missed. I tried to figure it out for a minute but then I was distracted again with my internal thoughts. Why hasn't Luna attempted to kill me yet? I know I certainly would have if the roles were reversed. I looked at her critically and couldn't help but see how pretty she was. I mean I had always known she was pretty but I never took the time to observe her. Her eyes seemed to light up and sparkle when she was talking to Harry and I noticed she was always leaning towards him when he talked. Like he was the only person in the room that mattered. And she would send him these breathtaking smiles every once in a while. She was practically exuding love for him and the longer I watched the sicker I felt.

What had I done? These were my friends… and I just didn't even think. I had sex with my ex's best friend, who was also one of my closest friends, on top of being someone that one of my closest friends was shagging, and oh yeah, did I forget to mention the close friend that was his girlfriend? I was such an ass.

I could feel the depression at the edges of my consciousness and I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. Sleep it all away. Maybe I would wake up and find out it was just a dream/nightmare? I needed to go…now.

"I hate to be a kill joy guys but I'm wiped. I'm going to head home now," I said, barely recognizing my own voice. I was pretty sure I just talked over them and the conversation they were in the middle of. But I could feel myself crashing, hard, and I wanted to be home when I fell apart. I was gathering my stuff and pushing my way out of the booth and putting money down on the table all at the same time. I briefly saw Dean's look of concern, felt Harry trying to stop me to say goodbye, heard Luna and Padma whisper but I knew that I didn't have much time left.

"Hermione?" asked Lavender standing in front of me. She had run to the door and stood in between me and my exit.

I looked up and she gasped. There were already tears streaming down my face and I whispered, "Please Lav, I just want to go home."

She nodded and moved out of the way, shocked by my state then called after me, "Get some rest, I'll come by later."

I simply waved my hand behind me, unable to speak and apparated home. I collapsed on the floor in tears as soon as I landed. What had I done?


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Harry Potter.

Warning: Mentions suicide.

After spending what felt like forever in the shower sobbing, I still couldn't seem to get my emotions under control. As if that wasn't enough, I'm seriously sore from last night. It's like a constant reminder of my betrayal. Even though technically I didn't betray anyone. Harry had said yesterday that he and Ginny were off again. Plus, as far as Luna was concerned, her and Harry had never said that they were dating, ever. They just slept together every now and again. So really, I have nothing to feel bad about… except that I did. I really truly did. Maybe it was because I had never slept with anyone that I wasn't in love with before. Maybe it was because I crossed a line with Harry that I wasn't sure I should have. Maybe it was because I wanted more than one night with him… wait, what? Where did that come from? I am not falling for Harry. No way. I need to sleep. I'm sleep deprived, that's all it is. And on that note I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head, hoping that everything would be better when I woke up.

I woke several hours later, still quite tired and was just about to roll back over when I heard banging on my door. I vaguely remembered hearing my phone ring while I was sleeping and wondered what was going on. I got up, wincing and glanced at my phone as I walked by to see that Dean had called me several times. Odd. The banging on my door was getting louder and I yelled, "I'm coming!" Finally, I opened the door to see Ron standing there, his face quite red. Oh shit.

He didn't wait to be invited in, he just barged in right passed me.

"Please, come on in," I snapped, slamming the door shut.

"Oh sorry, did I disturb you?" he sneered.

"Ron, why did you wake me up and drag me out of bed?"

Again he sneered at me, "Rough night last night?"

I rolled my eyes and said, "What do you want? I'm tired!"

"Yeah, I heard you were up all night fucking Harry! Could you be any more of a whore?"

I stood there in shock for several minutes before I finally realized what Ron had just said to me. That fucking bastard! I was quickly overcome with anger and I slapped him as hard as I could. So hard it hurt my hand. Unfortunately for me, it didn't really do anything except piss Ron off more.

"How dare you talk to me like that! You fucking bastard!"

He grabbed both my wrists and shoved me away from him. "Me? You fucked my best friend! Bloody hell Hermione, out of all the wizards, you have to fuck my best friend?"

"Fuck you Ron!" I screamed, rubbing my sore wrists. "You don't get to tell me what to do anymore!"

"I shouldn't have to tell you not to act like a whore!"

He was towering over me in quite a rage and I was trying very hard to keep from crying in front of him. "Get out!"

"No! I want to hear what you have to say for yourself! Tell me what possible excuse you have."

"I don't need to give you a fucking excuse Ron, I don't owe you anything!"

"And Ginny? Do you owe her an excuse?" he sneered.

"They're not together right now!" I winced knowing how weak I sounded.

"Please, Mione, don't make yourself look any stupider than you already do."

"Get out Ron!" I cried, unable to hold it in anymore.

"No. I want to know why you did it."

"Get out!" I half screamed half begged but he was too far gone to stop now.

"Did you want to compare us, so you could know which of us was bigger, which of us was better?"

"You're such a bastard! You broke up with me! You left me!" I screamed so loud my voice was raw and I gasped in pain rubbing my throat.

Ron looked at me, thoroughly disgusted and replied, "It was the best damn thing I've ever done."

I tried to keep the tears from escaping but it was no use. I covered my mouth to stifle my sobs. I thought I saw a flicker of regret in Ron's eyes but then we were interrupted by Dean, "Everything OK in here?"

"I was just leaving," said Ron, storming passed me to leave.

It felt like I was outside my body as I fell to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. "I… can't… he… did… you hear …. what… he said?"

Dean sat on the floor and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me as I lost it. I loved Ron so much that I thought I would die without him… but I'd been working on getting over him. In fact, I thought I was over him. But the way he looked at me, as if I was trash, as if I completely disgusted him… that just killed me. No matter how much I thought I had moved on, I obviously still had a way to go. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur for me but I remember Lavender coming over and helping me get back into bed.

Lavender left the bedroom door partially open as she returned to the living room to talk to Dean.

"I'm worried about her," said Dean.

"I am too," replied Lavender.

"She just started to feel better with those anti-depressants."

"I know. But I feel like she's more reckless than usual. Last night… that … she would never have done that a year ago."

"A year ago she was happily in love with Ron."

"Bastard."

"Yeah. I don't think he has any idea what a mess she's been."

"No one does. Not Ron. Not Harry. Some best friends they turned out to be."

"To be fair, she did a good job of hiding it."

Lavender rolled her eyes but was prevented from replying by a knock on the door. She got up and opened the door to find Harry. She raised her eyebrows at him but stepped back so he could come inside.

"Hey."

"What's up?" asked Dean, standing up.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and said, "Luna mentioned she told Ron about last night. Thought I should check in on Mione, make sure she was OK."

Lavender snorted and said, "Bit late for that."

Harry frowned and asked, "Did he come by?"

"Yeah, he was here when I got here. Bastard was laying into her something fierce," replied Dean, crossing his arms.

"Fuck."

The three stood there in awkward silence for several minutes until Harry finally asked, "Where's Mione? Can I see her?"

Both Lavender and Dean replied, "No," instantly.

Harry raised his eyebrows and said, "What? Why?"

"She's asleep," replied Lavender at the same time Dean replied, "She's a mess."

"Which is it? She's asleep or she's a mess?" asked Harry angrily.

"Both. Ron was a real bastard to her and she pretty much lost it as soon as he left. I called Lavender over to help me with her. She cried for a long time until Lavender finally convinced her to get some sleep."

Harry sat down on the couch and ran his hands through his hair, "Fuck."

"Yeah."

"Fucking Luna. Why did she have to say something to Ron? I swear she's going to be the death of me one of these days. I just spent hours arguing with her about how we are not together and that she just needs to move on."

"Oh poor Harry," mocked Lavender. "You brought this on yourself. What were you thinking would happen when you're constantly seeking her out for sex? Obviously she's going to get attached."

Harry's eyes flared dangerously and he growled, "We agreed it was just sex years ago."

"Exactly Harry. Years ago. Years."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Whatever you want it to mean, but I'll tell you one thing, I'll be damned if I let you pull that shit with Mione. She can't handle that kind of relationship. Not with you, not with anyone."

"I'd never… Not with Mione," replied Harry, obviously hurt by the accusation.

"And what about Ginny?"

"We broke up."

"You always break up and then you get back together the next week."

Harry sighed and looked away, "I don't know."

"Do you love her?"

"Ginny?"

"Yes, Ginny."

"Yeah."

"You're going to have to tell her about this. She's going to find out."

"I know."

"Merlin, Harry, what were you thinking last night?" asked Dean, unable to hold it in anymore.

"Fuck if I know," he huffed, standing up.

They were silent for several minutes before Harry continued, "It just felt so right kissing her, I couldn't believe it. I wasn't thinking about anything else… obviously. Just how right it felt to be with Mione. I didn't want it to ever end. And now I'm worried I ruined everything. She's my best friend and I don't want to hurt her."

"But?"

"But I'm pants at relationships. Everyone knows I am. There's Ginny and Luna and the others I end up bringing home. I don't think I know how to be faithful…"

Lavender snorted, "I don't think you do either."

Harry glared at her but she just shrugged and said, "What? It's true."

"Do you guys mind if I stay here till she wakes up? I'd like to be here for her, she's still my best friend."

"I was going to stay…" started Lavender but Dean gave her a look and said, "I think that would be a good idea, Harry. Maybe she'll talk to you about what's been going on with her."

"What do you mean?" asked Harry.

"I mean this past year, she's been hiding a lot from both you and Ron. Maybe she'll finally open up to you now that… you know."

"Now that they've fucked?" asked Lavender helpfully.

Harry glared at her again and said, "We didn't fuck."

At her pointed look he continued, "I mean, technically, yes we did. But it's Mione… it wasn't like that. It could never be like that with her."

Dean nodded and stood up, patting Harry on the shoulder as he pulled Lavender off the couch to go. "Take care of her."

Harry nodded and watched them leave. He stood and paced around for a few minutes wondering how he was going to fix his latest mess. He decided to check in on Mione and walked towards her bedroom, noticing the door was partially open. He stepped inside and moved closer to her and nearly cried himself when he saw her. She was asleep but her face was all puffy and red but more importantly she kept gasping in her sleep, like he remembered doing when he was kid and cried so much he couldn't catch his breath. His heart broke just looking at her. He reached out and brushed a few pieces of hair off of her face wishing he could take all her pain away. He wondered what Dean and Lavender were talking about… what had she been hiding from him this last year? He realized his hand was still cupping her face and pulled away when he noticed that Hermione was staring back at him. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Are you alright?"

Hermione shook her head no as tears started to immediately fall.

"Hey now, none of that," said Harry soothingly, as he sat down on the bed and pulled her into a hug.

"Shh. It's alright, I've got you. I'm here. Let it out."

He held her for what felt like forever, all the while she sobbed into his chest. After some time her cries lessened and he asked, "Will you tell me about it?"

Hermione shook her head against his chest and he said, "Please, Mione. It kills me to see you this upset. Was it me? Are you upset about last night?"

She shook her head again and said, "No, Harry, it's nothing you did."

He pulled back and raised her chin up to look into her eyes, "Please Mione, let me in. Let me help you."

She bit her lip and looked away before she said, "Alright. Will you lie down with me?"

He hesitated just a fraction before nodding and getting up to move to the other side of the bed. He chucked his shoes off and took his jacket off before lying down next to her in bed. He propped himself up on his left elbow facing her and she did the same on her right elbow facing him.

"Where do I even start?"

"At the beginning."

"OK. Here goes… Last year when Ron and I broke up, I didn't take it very well. At all."

"I know it was hard for you. It was a shock to all of us too. You guys just seemed so in love."

"Yeah… but it wasn't just hard for me Harry, it was impossible. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning, I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping, I couldn't stop crying… basically I was a complete mess."

Harry frowned but didn't interrupt.

"My parents were so worried about me, they begged me for months to see someone, to go to the doctor but I refused. I just wanted to be left alone, to crawl into bed and never wake up. So I decided I was going to get my own place… they were so opposed to it. We had so many fights about it and they said they wouldn't let me go unless I went to see a doctor. So I finally went, just to placate them, so I could move on and move out. I didn't realize they had also been talking to Lavender. Anyway, I went to the doctor and he said I had severe depression and gave me some anti-depressants to take every day. He said I would feel better in 6 weeks and that he wanted me to talk to a therapist too. I flat out refused to talk to anybody but I told him and my parents I would take the drugs. I really just wanted to get them off my back. They insisted I stay at home until they saw an improvement… and I did feel better, I felt more like myself after 8 weeks so my parents said I could go but they made Lavender promise she would check up on me and make sure I was taking my meds…"

"Wow. Mione, why didn't you tell me? You know I would have been here for you, don't you?"

"I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't really think anything was wrong, I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and this was the easiest way to make that happen."

Harry frowned again, "So then you moved here. Was it better?"

"God no. It was so much worse. I would go days without getting out of bed, then I would party hard for days and I would just switch back and forth between sad and angry but it was worse, because I had more energy and the crippling pain was lifted just enough that I could finally think again…"

"Merlin, Mione. That sounds horrible but how was being able to think again worse?"

"I started planning…"

"Planning what?"

"My death… I started thinking of all the different ways I could kill myself."

Harry bolted up and said, "What? Are you fucking serious?"

Hermione just looked down and nodded.

"Jesus Christ Mione. Please tell me you didn't try anything!"

Again she looked down and Harry invaded her space and pulled her chin up, "Did you?"

She started crying and nodded yes. "I was drunk and I had been feeling so much better that I just did it, without even really thinking about it."

"What did you do?"

"I grabbed a knife and slit both my wrists…"

Harry leaped off the bed and covered his mouth with his hand, then blew out a huge breath and ran his hands through his hair. After a minute he settled himself and sat back down. "And then what happened?"

"Lavender was here, we were drinking together in the living room and I had just gone into the kitchen to grab more drinks. Anyway, after I did it, I dropped the knife in the sink and it clattered loudly, so she came to see what happened… like I said I wasn't thinking, I just did it."

Harry grabbed her arms and looked at them, rubbing them tenderly with his fingers.

"I have a glamour charm on them to cover the scars."

"I want to see them."

"Harry…"

"No Hermione, I want to see them."

"Alright…" She reached on the nightstand for her wand, then pointed it at first the left then the right arm and said, "Finite."

"Fucking hell!" he gasped.

"Yeah, that's why I cover them. I could have gone to St. Mungo's and they would have probably gotten rid of them but I didn't want to answer any questions. As it was I still had to go to a muggle hospital because I cut so deep that Lavender couldn't fix it on her own. That turned out to be hell because they made me spend the week under their watch until they were sure I wouldn't do it again."

"When did this happen?"

"Six months ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to talk about it."

"Bullshit! Lavender knew. Dean knew. Mione, I'm your best friend!"

"Are you?"

Harry reacted as if he was physically hit and looked at her obviously hurt.

"Come on Harry, Ron's your best friend, he always has been."

He spluttered as he tried to find a response but she continued, "It's fine, I understand. I always have. Plus, you were finally free to enjoy your life after all those years of hell. I didn't want to drag you down with me."

"That's such bullshit Hermione. You've always been my best friend. You've always been there for me when no one else was, the Triwizard, the hunt, it's always been you! Ron's my best mate, we have a good time together, but never, ever, think that you're not my best friend, Hermione. I would do anything for you. You have to know that. Please tell me somewhere deep inside you that you know that!"

She covered her face with her hands and tried to stop the tears but she couldn't.

Harry pulled her into a hug and let her cry it out. He squeezed her hard and kissed the top of her head while he waited for her to calm down. "I'm sorry… I just felt… just feel… so alone. I don't know what's wrong with me, it's like I can't breathe sometimes."

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She pulled back and wiped her eyes trying to gage his sincerity, "What about Ginny? What about Luna?"

"You're more important."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

He hesitated and she added, "I just don't want to be alone."

"Ok," he said as he laid down on the bed again and pulled her closer so that her head was resting on his shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Don't. I should have been here with you a year ago and every day since then."

"You're here now though."

Harry rubbed her back soothingly until she fell asleep all the while thinking that what he was doing was too little too late and that he was a terrible friend. He vowed to be there for her now. Whatever she needed, he would give it to her.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Harry Potter.

As I slowly started to come back to consciousness I snuggled further into the warmth behind me. It took me a few minutes before I remembered it was Harry that was radiating so much heat. I turned to face him and just watched him sleep for a while, thinking through all that had happened recently. At some point during the night he had taken his shirt and jeans off and was now just wearing his boxers. I ran my fingers up his arm lightly, really just to prove to myself that I wasn't dreaming. He was so handsome and he looked so peaceful in sleep. I moved my hand up to his jaw and lightly brushed the back of my hand against his stubble… he looked so sexy when he didn't shave. I squirmed, trying to keep myself from waking him up and having my wicked way with him. I moved my hand and slowly started playing with his hair, it was absolutely wild but also really soft and I found myself wondering what shampoo he used. I inched closer still, wanting to fully immerse myself in him. I felt so safe in his arms, so loved and after yesterday, so wanted. It had been a long time since a man, wizard or muggle, had made me feel so alive. He had looked at me like I was the hottest, sexiest witch around, and I found that I really wanted to feel that way again. I bit my lip, wondering if I would be taking advantage of him, of his caring nature, if I started something right now. Before I could contemplate further Harry opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at me. Those sexy eyes were the last straw and Harry barely had time to blink before I was on him, kissing and rubbing and touching him all over the place. He was quick to catch up though and rolled us over so that he was on top. There wasn't much in between us, just my panties and his boxers, so every time he ground against me, I felt it. I groaned and gasped and scratched and clawed his back as I begged for more, "Please, Harry, Please…" I started pushing his boxers down with my feet, which were wrapped around him but it wasn't easy because he was like a man possessed, grinding against me. I whimpered and pushed hard against his shoulders and he stopped and pulled back, confused. I ripped my shirt and knickers off, tossing them aside before I pounced on him again. But that brief break had given his conscience a chance to catch up and he wasn't having it anymore. He grabbed my arms and pushed me away a bit, "Mione, wait…"

I shook my head, "No, Harry, please."

"No, this isn't… I don't want… you're…"

I growled and he said, "We shouldn't."

Shocked I moved back away from him, out of his reach, and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

He moved towards me but I moved further back against the headboard and pulled my knees up in front of me

"Mione…"

"Don't," I choked out.

"No, Mione, you don't understand."

I snorted and wiped my face of the tears that had started to fall.

"Please, just let me explain. I don't want to take advantage of you… you were so upset last night. And you're my best friend and I don't want to screw that up."

I sniffled and looked away from him.

"Please, Mione, say something."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. Don't shut me out."

"What do you want me to say?" I yelled.

"I want you to tell me what you're thinking," he begged, tears now in his eyes.

I shook my head no and wiped more tears off my face.

He closed the distance between us and lifted my chin gently until I was looking at him, "Please, Mione, just tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

I closed my eyes, trying to get some control of my emotions, but it was no use. I was a wreck and for some reason Harry was able to pull my deepest fears from me… "Why don't you want me? Why doesn't anyone want me?"

I heard him gasp and I opened my eyes to see nothing but shock on his face. I closed my eyes again and turned my head away from him, not wanting to look at him when he answered me. It was too painful. Suddenly though he grabbed my hand and placed it on his erection and my eyes shot open. "Mione, I want you. I want you so bad it hurts. Right now I want nothing more than to ravish you and make love to you for days."

"So why did you stop me?"

"Because I'm scared of hurting you, scared of making things worse for you, scared of ruining our friendship."

"But I want you, Harry. I've always wanted you and now that we've crossed that line, I don't want to go back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You make me feel wanted and desirable and sexy. And I really need that right now. I need someone to show me that I'm not worthless, that someone does want me."

"Oh Mione, I want you, believe me I do. I just… I don't want to hurt you. I'm no good at this and there's Luna and Ginny and Ron…"

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"No one else is here with us right now."

Harry stared at me and I grinned widely before I launched myself at him, pushing him on his back and climbing on top of him. I clasped hands with him and held his arms over his head, so that I had control, "Harry?"

"Mmm hmm?" he was clearly distracted by my breasts.

"Tell me you want me," I demanded.

"I want you, Mione," he replied grinning.

"Tell me how much you want me."

"I'm going to make you pay for this, you know," he said mischievously.

"Tell me!"

"I want you so much right now my balls hurt."

"Harry!"

"What? You wanted to know," he smirked.

"What are you going to do about it then Mr. Potter?" I asked sexily.

Harry pushed himself up, even with his arms still held down, and kissed me passionately, before he pulled back and said, "I'm going to make love to you Mione, nice and slow, and you're going to love it."

"Because you want me?" I asked cheekily.

"Because I want you, love," he replied quite tenderly before placing a sweet kiss on my nose. And then he set out to do just what he said. He placed me on my back gently and gazed down at me as he ran his hands lightly up and down my arms. He moved towards the end of the bed and pulled my legs towards him so that I was completely flat on my back with my legs stretched out. Slowly he began rubbing every part of my body then he followed that up with kisses. Lightly scattering kisses all over me until I was begging for more. I was putty in his hands by the time he spread my legs and burrowed his face in between them, slowly licking and flicking, alternating with gentle sucks. I was moaning incoherently about how he was giving me the best oral sex I had ever received when he began exploring with his fingers and suddenly I was bolting upright overcome with my orgasm, "Oh God Harry!" I screamed completely amazed at what he had done. As I collapsed back on the bed, I realized his fingers were still inside me, stretching me, preparing me for what else he had in store. "Oh!" I gasped surprised when I felt a flutter and he grinned, working on that spot some more. "Harry…"

"Enjoy it, Mione," he whispered.

I closed my eyes and did just that, focusing on all the sensations running through my body.

"I want you so bad, Mione, so bad," he said as he moved up my body, slowly and methodically kissing every inch of me.

"Harry, please…"

"Patience, love."

I growled and dug my nails into his shoulders, expressing my frustration. He hissed and nipped my side in retaliation.

"Ow," I gasped, surprised.

"I told you, patience, love."

"Harry, come on," I whined.

He leaned over me, scorching me with his gaze, before he finally lowered himself on top of me and entered me slowly.

I kept my eyes locked on his as we slowly moved together, running my hands all over him, pulling him closer and closer, it felt like I couldn't get him close enough. He nipped my lower lip with his teeth playfully and I leaned up and nipped his earlobe in return. He chuckled and pulled my left leg higher up on his hip, going deeper and making me moan. He kissed and nipped my neck gently and I arched up against him, trying to get closer still.

"Harry…"

"Mione…"

I squirmed under him, wanting more of him, wanting all of him, and unsure how to get any closer than I already was. He sensed my need and pulled me in for a slow, tender kiss. I tried to express all the things I couldn't say to him… how much I appreciated him and trusted him, how much I loved him.

When he met my gaze again I saw that he understood and he said, "I know, Mione, me too."

I wrapped my fingers in the back of his hair and pulled him down to me again, kissing him with renewed vigor. He was everything I could ever want in a man… and I was falling in love with him. I gasped and pulled away, shocked at my revelation…

"What is it? Did I hurt you?" he asked concerned.

I shook my head no but a tear fell down my face and he frowned before wiping it away, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head again and said, "Nothing's wrong Harry, nothing at all." Then I pulled him back into a kiss. He was tense at first but after a minute he relaxed again, finally believing that he wasn't hurting me. I did my best to push my fears and worries to the back of my mind, I could deal with the consequences of my revelation another time. Right now I just wanted to enjoy my time with him, enjoy every touch and caress, every scorching kiss, every heated gaze.

I pushed against his shoulders and he let me roll us over so that I was on top. I slowly sat up and entwined our hands, shaking my head until my hair moved out of my face and over my shoulders. He moaned below me and I raised my eyebrow in question…

"You look so sexy right now," he replied.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck, yeah."

I grinned and started moving my hips slowly and he clenched my hands tightly as he hissed something in parseltongue.

"Oh God," I moaned, "Do that again!"

He looked at me confused and I realized he must have spoken it unconsciously… "Harry… you just said something in Parseltongue…"

"I did?"

"Mmm hmm, do it again!"

He scrunched his nose up in concentration, then closed his eyes and I wondered if he was going to deny me… so I moved my hips just so and he hissed again.

"Fuck that's sexy," I moaned.

He kept his eyes closed and squeezed my hips with his hands, as he let the sensations wash over him. He continued to hiss the sexiest noises out loud though and I quickly lost control of my rhythm as my eyes rolled back and I hit my peak, screaming his name.

When I came back to he was leaning over me, looking quite pleased with himself but also a little amused. I shoved my hair out of my face and licked my lips, blinking rapidly as I tried to readjust.

"You okay?"

I nodded, unable to speak and he leaned down and kissed me sweetly. I moved slightly and realized he was still inside me so I clenched my muscles around him and he hissed, "naughty minx."

I chuckled and said, "You bet I am. Ready to continue?"

"Hell yeah," he growled as he began moving again.

"Are you close?"

He grunted in response as he buried his face in my neck

I wrapped my legs around him tightly and clenched my muscles over and over again, pushing back against him with every thrust.

He hissed a stream of words out in parseltongue and I begged, "Come for me, Harry, please. Come inside me. I want to feel you deep inside me."

And he did, pushing with so much force that I gasped, "fuck," as he slammed up against my cervix. I could feel him pulsing inside me several times before he relaxed his grip and collapsed on top of me.

It took several minutes before I stopped panting enough to enjoy having his full weight on me. He was still trying to catch his breath though and I started running my hands soothingly across his shoulders and back.

He moaned and snuggled his face further into my neck, tickling me and I tried to squirm away.

"Stop moving," he mumbled.

"Stop tickling me," I griped.

"So comfy."

I started poking him in the side, knowing how ticklish he was there, because he was getting quite heavy.

He twitched and jerked, trying to get away from my hands but it was not use, I kept at it and he grumbled something incoherently before rolling off of me to the side.

I took several deep breathes before I moved and snuggled into his side, burrowing my head into his chest. His arm automatically came up and wrapped around me, holding me tight, before he kissed the top of my head and mumbled, "sleep."

I nodded already halfway there and I couldn't help but think how much I loved falling asleep in Harry's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Harry Potter.

As I woke I remembered several sleepy lazy sexual encounters with Harry throughout the night. I was still naked and he was pressed up against my back, already hard. I rubbed back against him and he growled, "Wicked witch," into my neck before biting it gently.

I moaned and pushed back into him.

"Mione," he said in what could only be a warning but I wasn't scared. Not of him. Not ever.

"Harry," I purred as he rolled me onto my stomach.

He placed all his weight on me and I groaned in anticipation as he began nipping my back and neck. Then he sat back on his knees and pulled me up unto my hands and knees, not giving me but a moment before he was pushing himself into me again. I gasped at how deep he went… "Oh fuck!"

He chuckled darkly and slapped my ass, hard, before he began to move. His hands were everywhere and my body was already tingling in anticipation. I put my forehead down on the bed, trying to keep myself up, but he didn't like that. He threaded his hands in my hair and pulled me back until my neck was bent enough to shove his tongue in my mouth. Just when I thought he couldn't surprise me more… but his possessiveness was turning me on… big time.

"Harry!"

"What Mione?" he growled in my ear, before nipping it.

"Please…"

"Please what?"

"I… I… don't know… just please."

He chuckled darkly and started growling in my ear, "You're such a naughty witch, aren't you? You love it when I take you like this, don't you?"

I mewled and whimpered in pleasure.

"Answer me," he demanded, pulling me upright against his chest.

I struggled to stay connected to him, my knees slipping on either side of his, but he held me tight, waiting for me to answer him. "Yes, Harry, yes!"

"Yes what? Tell me!"

"I'm… a … naughty witch!"

"And?"

"I … love… when you … take me!"

He chuckled darkly and licked up my neck, ending at my ear lobe, which he teased in and out of his mouth until I was practically bouncing on him. "Tell me you love when I control you!"

"I…"

Harry twisted my right nipple and demanded, "Say it."

"I love it… when you control me!"

He bit my neck and said "I know you do, Mione, but I love controlling you more, you wicked, wicked witch."

I gasped as he picked up the pace and began fucking me hard and fast, pushing me back down onto my hands and knees. He quickly backed away and stood at the end of the bed, pulling me towards him, roughly reentering me and holding my hips in place while he pistoned in and out of me at break neck speed. My arms couldn't hold my weight and I collapsed on my forearms, head smashed against the bed as he took what he wanted from me. I screamed half in pleasure half in pain every time he pushed up against my cervix. "Fuck!"

"Fuck Mione, I'm going to come!"

"Wait… not… yet," I begged, I was so close but not quite there yet.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes," he chanted.

I felt my insides start to tighten and coil, "Ahhh."

"Fuck!" he gasped as he gave a particularly rough push at the same time I pushed back onto him.

I whimpered and shattered into pieces around him as I felt him release into me, throbbing and pulsing.

"Harry!" I gasped as he fell completely onto me, nearly crushing me under his weight.

He stayed on top of me for several minutes, until I thought I was going to suffocate and started to try and push him off of me. He finally got the hint and rolled off of me so that he was facing me. He wrapped his hand in my hair and pulled me in for a long slow lazy kiss. I could barely keep my eyes open I was so tired, but he was insistent. Finally, he released me and I blinked at him, completely spent. He chuckled and rubbed his hand gently over my ass, as if he was trying to soothe any hurt he may have caused. "Get some sleep, witch."

I blinked once in response before I closed my eyes and fell asleep instantly. I'm not sure how long I slept for but I was startled awake suddenly by a slamming door. What the…? I sat up completely confused and pushed my hair out of my face as I looked towards my closed bedroom door, wondering what woke me. Then I heard it… arguing. Harry was swearing at someone. And then I heard yelling… Ron. Oh shit. Ron and Harry were arguing. I tried to get up quickly but I gasped in pain, "Ouch!" Apparently there can be too much of a good thing. Holy shit, I was in serious pain. I limped around my room, pulling an outfit together and winced when I pulled my pants up and saw the streaks of blood down my thighs. Oh. That's never happened before. No wonder I was in so much pain. Never mind. No time right now to deal with that.

"I can't fucking believe you!" yelled Ron.

I entered the room warily, wondering if I should have just hid in my bedroom and let the two of them work it out. "What's going on?"

They both turned to me and Ron's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Harry was obviously trying to contain laughter and I wondered what I must have looked like.

"You! You fucking whore!" roared Ron so vehemently that I took a step back. Harry, such a noble Gryffindor, moved to stand in front of me, obviously not sure how far Ron would go in his anger.

"Don't fucking call her that!" growled Harry.

"Look at her! She looks like you've been fucking her for hours!" yelled Ron, obviously disgusted. Then he added, even more appalled, "You have, haven't you?"

When Harry didn't answer other than cross his arms across his bare chest, I decided to. "Ron, who I fuck is none of your business! After all, you didn't ask me for permission when you fucked that skank while we were still together!"

He flinched back as if he was physically hit. Oh yeah. I knew about that.

Harry turned to me so fast I'm surprised he didn't give himself whiplash. Oh. Looks like Harry didn't know about that. Oops.

"I… you… you knew?" Ron asked, completely taken off guard.

"Yeah, I knew. You think I didn't notice that you smelled of another witch? You think I didn't notice how you couldn't get it up on the nights you were late? You never were one to rebound quickly," I sneered.

Oops, that may have been too far… I thought as he angrily advanced on me. I backed up until I hit the wall, hard, and yelped in pain. But Harry was there in front of me, in between Ron and I, before I could panic. He shoved Ron back away from me, hard enough that he stumbled and said, "Ron, I think you need to go."

"Fuck you, Harry!"

Harry just stood in front of me glaring at Ron, not budging an inch.

"Fine. You know what, fuck you both! I hope she makes you as miserable as she made me Harry! You deserve it. You deserve each other… you're a bastard and she's a whore!" and then he turned and stormed out of the apartment, breaking the door from slamming it so hard.

We stood there panting for a few minutes before Harry turned to me and took in my state. He reached out to me, probably just to touch my arm but I couldn't help my reflexes, and I flinched away from him. Turning in on myself and pushing up against the wall to put distance between us.

His face fell as he held his hand out and barely croaked, "Mione?"

I shook my head, still in fight or flight mode as I dashed further away from him, out of his reach.

He looked at me completely shocked, unable to comprehend what was happening and why I looked so terrified.

I took several deep breaths as I tried to calm myself down. Ron was gone. He wasn't here. He couldn't hurt me anymore. Harry would never hurt me. But he did. No, he didn't mean to.

"Mione?"

I looked up at him, and something in my eyes must have scared him because he said, "Mione, you know I would never hurt you, right?"

I opened my mouth to reply but nothing came out and I realized I was crying as I felt the tears run down my face.

"Tell me what's going on love, are you alright? Do you want me to get Lavender for you?"

Unable to stop my descent into despair and unable to properly explain what was happening to Harry, I nodded yes. Lavender would know what to do.

"Ok, love, hold on. I'll go get her," said Harry, obviously battling with himself about leaving me alone. He finally made a decision and moved to the floo, throwing some powder in while yelling, "Lavender Brown," into the flame. He sat on the floor, with just his head in the flames, something I knew he hated to do. After a jarbled conversation, none of which I could understand from my position curled up in the corner against the wall, Harry pulled back out of the floo and got up.

 _A few seconds later, Lavender came through, looking very concerned. "Where is she? Hermione?"_

 _"_ _She's right here," said Harry, motioning towards my position._

 _"_ _Oh Mione, what happened? You've been doing so much better. Was it Ron? Never mind that was a stupid question, of course it was Ron. I swear one of these days I'm going to AK him." She moved to sit on the floor next to me and wrapped her arms around me and I instantly started sobbing._

 _"_ _It's alright, let it out. It's been a while since you've had a good cry," she said softly as she rubbed my back._

 _Harry sat down on the floor across from us unsure what to do. Poor thing. I was such a mess, he really didn't deserve this._

 _"_ _Harry, tell me what happened," demanded Lavender._

 _"_ _Umm… well Ron came by… and we got into an argument… and then Hermione came out… and Ron called her…some names… then they were arguing about sex… about how … well it sounded like Hermione accused Ron of cheating on her… then Ron got really pissed off… and I had to stand in between them… then Ron got angry and yelled some stuff at us before he stormed off."_

 _Lavender frowned then asked, "Did he hurt her?"_

 _"_ _What? No. Of course not."_

 _Lavender raised her eyebrows at him and he scoffed, "He didn't touch her!"_

 _Lavender looked down at Hermione, who was visibly shaking, then looked back at Harry, willing him to connect the dots._

 _He frowned, not liking what Lavender seemed to be implying. He replayed the scene in his head, Ron's anger, Hermione's accusations, then Ron advancing on her and Hermione backing up so fast she hit the wall hard and yelped in pain, the fear in her eyes before he stepped in between them. Ron would never… would he? He looked back up to Lavender to see that she was waiting for him to say something._

 _"_ _He wouldn't!"_

 _"_ _He would."_

 _"_ _No. Just no"_

 _"_ _He did."_

 _"_ _I… I don't believe you. I mean yeah, he has a temper but he would never!"_

 _"_ _But he did!"_

 _"_ _No!" Harry roared._

 _I jumped in surprise and burrowed further into Lavender's arms, just trying to block out everything. I kept repeating over and over, Ron is gone, he's gone, he's gone…_

 _"_ _Harry calm down, you're scaring her."_

 _I watched him step back, watched as the realization finally hit him, as he covered his face with his hands and yelled something into them. Watched as he turned and marched back down the hall into the bedroom. Heard as he tossed things around. Watched as he came back towards me, fully dressed._

 _"_ _I… I'll be right back. I just need some air," then he kneeled down in front of me and said, "Mione, love, I'm sorry I upset you. I'm going to let you calm down… and I'll be back in just a bit, OK?"_

 _I looked at him teary eyed and nodded in response._

 _He leaned in and kissed the top of my head before he stood and exited the apartment, fixing the door on his way out._

 _I pulled out of Lavender's hug and relaxed against the wall as I wiped the tears from my face. Somehow feeling better now that there weren't any men in the room. That was a complete cluster fuck._

 _"_ _How are you doing?"_

 _I shrugged, still unable to really talk. Luckily Lavender knew me well and had been through many of these breakdowns with me so she didn't expect an actual response._

 _"_ _Do you think Harry is going to kill Ron?"_

 _Again, I shrugged. My emotions were maxed out and I couldn't care less about Ron at this point._

 _Lavender giggled and said, "I hope he at least kicks his ass, the fucker deserves it."_

 _I couldn't help but hum in agreement._

 _…_ _.._

 _I had been walking around outside Hermione's flat for the last ten minutes running the last couple years over in my head, trying to figure it all out. Am I such a selfish, self-absorbed wanker that I missed the fact this my best friends were in such a bad state? Turns out that the answer is yes, yes I am. Most of my memories from the last two years involved parties and various hook ups with witches and muggles. I mean I would see Mione and Ron but we never discussed anything serious. Just enjoyed being in each other's company, enjoyed being free, being alive. Ron would joke with me about my partying and Hermione would roll her eyes at my antics. And when they broke up I was honestly surprised. I had never seen anything that lead me to think they were having trouble. And I never really sought either one of them out to see if they were OK, figuring it was none of my business and if they wanted to talk they knew I was here. But they never sought me out. And I was content to just keep partying. I noticed Hermione acting differently but not in a bad way, she just seemed to loosen up a bit. She was enjoying herself and I didn't begrudge her that. But I didn't know. Obviously. I didn't know that she was struggling with depression, that she tried to kill herself. And now this? I knew they fought but would Ron really ever hurt her? Would he lay his hands on her that way? I scrunched up my face and ran my hands through my hair. Hermione was scared, that much was certain. But was she just scared of Ron's explosive temper, the way anyone would be, or was there more to it? I growled in frustration, knowing that if Hermione wouldn't talk about it then there was only one other person that I could ask…_

 _First I apparated to Ron's flat, but was annoyed to find he wasn't home. Deciding I needed to know I then apparated to the Burrow. I knocked on the door and waited, trying to calm myself down._

 _"_ _Harry!" said Mrs. Weasley, engulfing me in a hug as she dragged me into the house._

 _"_ _Hi Mrs. Weasley," I gasped._

 _"_ _Oh, what a happy surprise! Let me take a look at you," she said, pulling back to look me over. "I still can't believe how grown you all are!"_

 _I grinned at her, always happy to see her._

 _"_ _Hello Harry," said Ginny from the doorway to the living room._

 _I turned quickly, caught by surprise. Fuck. I had not taken Ginny into consideration and now that I was faced with her, I could tell she was pissed at me. I squirmed under her gaze and Molly sensing the tension, quickly excused herself, leaving us alone._

 _Ginny stalked into the room and sat on the edge of the table facing me, arms crossed. "So Harry, how have you been?"_

 _"_ _Umm. Good. You?"_

 _"_ _Oh, I've been great. Won the last away game and I just got back yesterday. Imagine my surprise when Luna of all people filled me in on what I've been missing."_

 _Fucking Luna._

 _"_ _Oh?"_

 _"_ _Yes, fascinating stuff. Of course, it's always hard to figure out which parts are truth and which are just… well Luna."_

 _"_ _Um. Yeah. Look, Ginny, I was hoping to talk to Ron. Is he here?"_

 _Ginny narrowed her eyes at me and I knew I was caught, "He wasn't in his flat?"_

 _"_ _No… actually it's fine, I'll just… um… catch up with him later. I should get going." I said, trying to get out of there before Ginny lost her shit on me._

 _"_ _Funny thing is… he's been spending a lot of time with Luna. Almost like they've bonded over something. You wouldn't happen to know what that's about, would you?"_

 _I rubbed the back of my neck, honestly just wanting to run away._

 _"_ _Hmm. I guess not. Well, Harry, I'll be sure to tell Ron that you were looking for him."_

 _I looked at her warily, why was she letting me go? I expected yelling and what not… not this. "Um. OK. Thanks Gin." I turned to leave but stopped as she added, "Should I tell him it's about you fucking Hermione or about him fucking Luna?"_

 _I froze, shoulders slumped, and not wanting to deal with yet another blowout with a Weasley today. I slowly turned around and to my horror found that there were tears falling down her face, "Gin…"_

 _"_ _No! Don't you dare! You fucking bastard! I can't believe you! It's not bad enough that I know you fuck Luna… Luna for fucks sake… every time we get into a fight and take a break, never mind all the other girls, but now you're fucking Hermione too!"_

 _"_ _I…I…"_

 _"_ _Fuck you Harry! Just go fuck yourself!"_

 _"_ _Gin…"_

 _"_ _Don't. Just. Get. Out."_

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Gin. I didn't plan on anything happening with Hermione. It just did."_

 _When she just stared at me, arms crossed, I stopped talking and we just stared at each other for several minutes. I couldn't help but feel that this time she wasn't going to forgive me. That this time, there was no going back. I watched as more tears fell down her face and moved to wipe them away but she pulled away from me so fast that my hand was left hanging in the air._

 _"_ _Get out."_

 _"_ _Gin…"_

 _"_ _No, Harry. We're done. I mean it this time. I've had enough."_

 _Unable to speak over the lump in my throat, I nodded and turned to leave. As I opened the door I heard her whisper, "I hope she was worth it." I paused before shutting the door behind me and apparated home. I couldn't deal with Ron right now. Was Mione really worth all of this?_

 _Yes, yes she was._


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Harry Potter.

"Harry?"

"Hey. Sorry I didn't mean to leave I just…"

"Needed some air?"

"Yeah."

"And Ron?"

"I couldn't find him."

"Good. Just leave it be Harry. He'll cool down and get over whatever his issue is eventually… he always does."

"Mione?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to tell me what happened with Ron?"

"Harry…"

"Mione…"

"I… just… I'm not ready… to talk about it… not yet."

"I'm trying Hermione, I really am, but just the fact that obviously something happened, is enough to make me want to go kill him."

"Harry, please, it's in the past. I'm not with Ron anymore. Just let it be."

"You know I can't do that, right? I'm going to be imagining all these things in my head…"

Hermione sighed and said, "I promise I'll tell you Harry, I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. OK?"

Harry clenched his jaw, "…"

"Please, Harry."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"I should go…"

"Don't be mad…"

"I'm not."

"Well you could have fooled me."

"I've got to go…"

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you OK? You seem… distant."

Harry sighed into the phone and laid down on his bed, "Yeah. I just need to sort myself out a bit."

"Is it what happened with us? Because you don't need to overthink it… it doesn't need to be anything."

"No, Hermione, that's not it… it's not you. I … when I went looking for Ron I ran into Ginny."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And she's right pissed at me."

"Oh."

"Hermione?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't even think it. I'm not getting back together with her, not this time."

"Harry…"

"No, it was time to move on, long past it actually…"

"Are you OK?"

Harry shrugged then realized Hermione couldn't see him and said, "Yeah, I just…"

"Need some time?"

"Yeah."

"OK."

"…"

"…"

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess… just tired of being so emotional."

"It's been a rough couple of days, Mione, cut yourself some slack."

"I guess."

"Is Lavender still there with you?"

"No, she went home to get ready to go out tonight. She's insisting we go dancing and drink a lot to make me forget my issues."

Harry snorted

"Are you going to stay in tonight?"

"I don't know. I'll see what the guys are up to."

"Ok, maybe I'll see you later then."

"Hmm. If we don't end up at the same place call me before you go home, maybe we can meet up."

Hermione giggled and said, "Harry Potter! Are you asking to be my booty call?"

Harry laughed heartily and said, "Hell yeah!"

They both laughed some more before Hermione said, "Alright, lover boy, I'm going to go take a nap before Lavender gets back."

"Hmm. Can I join you?"

Hermione laughed and said, "Shush you, I'll never get any rest if you come over."

"Rest is overrated."

"Goodbye Harry."

"Fine. But if you change your mind…"

"Goodbye Harry."

Harry sighed dramatically then said, "Bye Mione."

….

Hermione was having a fantastic time and she had lost count of how many drinks she had ages ago. As she danced between Lavender and some unknown but very hot wizard, she wondered where Harry was? Then she shook her head, what the hell was wrong with her? She didn't need Harry or anyone else for that matter to make her happy. That's what this whole last year had been about, proving that she didn't need Ron to survive, she didn't need anyone. But Harry was different. He was always her North Star, her light in the darkness, and that just terrified her more. She knew she was already falling for him; would she be able to survive the fallout when things went south?

"I need another drink!" yelled Lavender holding hers up to show Hermione what she was talking about as the music was blaring.

Hermione nodded and followed Lavender to the bar, downing what remained of her drink in the process. Lavender quickly pushed through the crowd and ordered them drinks then turned and asked, "What in the world are you thinking about Hermione? That guy behind you was so fucking hot and you were off in your own world."

Hermione sighed and said, "Harry."

Lavender rolled her eyes and said, "Be careful with him. He can do a lot of damage… and I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I know. That's what I was thinking about. He could ruin me if I let him."

"Then don't let him."

"Easier said than done."

"Let's take a walk around and look for hot guys," said Lavender handing Hermione her new drink.

"Sounds good."

They spent the next ten minutes pushing through various crowds and finally found a nice open lounge area upstairs where they could sit and watch everyone else. They continued to drink and point out all the hot guys they saw when several guys approached them. They were all tall, dark, and handsome, much to Hermione delight. She was enjoying flirting with them when she suddenly felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She stiffened and looked around, not sure why she was reacting this way. She didn't see any danger but the feeling would not go away. She tried to shrug it off but then it intensified… and changed somewhat… it was like an electric pulse inside her and it was starting to turn her on. She squirmed in her seat and looked around again, but this time her eyes landed on piercing green ones, as they stalked over to her. Unable to help herself she parted her lips in desire.

Lavender seemed to sense something was happening just a moment before Harry was there. She squeaked in surprise as he pushed his way through the group until he was standing in front of Hermione. They stared at each other for a moment before he pulled her up and into a ferocious kiss. The guys all grumbled and quickly left, recognizing Harry instantly.

Lavender rolled her eyes and finished her drink waiting for the two to finish devouring each other in the middle of the club. When they finally pulled away from each other she glared at Harry and said, "Thanks for that, asshole, it's not like I was interested in any of them."

Harry chuckled and sat down, pulling Hermione onto his lap, "Sorry Lav, but it's not like you'll have a hard time finding another bloke to keep your bed warm. Besides, you have Dean."

"I know I have Dean, but it's nice to be reminded how hot I am every once in a while."

Harry laughed and Hermione raised her drink in the air, "Cheers to that!"

Lavender couldn't resist and joined Hermione in toasting.

"So, not that I'm not happy to see you, but where did you come from?" asked Hermione.

"We went to a couple places before we ended up here. Neville and Seamus are around somewhere…"

"Neville?" asked Lavender, interest peaked.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you have a thing for Neville now?" asked Harry, somewhat horrified.

"He's grown up nicely, Harry, even you have to have noticed that. And there's nothing wrong with admiring the view."

Hermione giggled and Harry frowned at her, "What? Don't tell me you agree!"

"Of course I agree, Harry! Face it, Neville's hot!" replied Hermione.

"Merlin's balls, I'm going to gag," said Harry, resting his head back against the couch.

Lavender and Hermione both laughed in response.

"There you are!" yelled Seamus, "It's bloody insane in here tonight, I didn't think I was ever going to find you again!"

He sat down and nodded toward the girls, "Ladies. You're looking exquisite as always."

Lavender and Hermione giggled and said, "Thanks Seamus."

"Where's Neville?" asked Lavender, causing Harry to groan.

Seamus looked at Harry funny then looked back to Lavender and answered, "He's coming. He got sidetracked by Susan and Hannah."

Lavender frowned.

"Oh, I didn't know they were here," said Hermione, scrutinizing Harry. He had had a fling with Susan for a while.

Harry merely shrugged and said, "I didn't stop and chat but yeah I saw them."

"Oh."

"Ah, is there something you two want to tell me?" asked Seamus, having watched them for the last few minutes. He had never seen Hermione sit on Harry's lap before. Ever.

Harry's eyes sparkled mischievously and he said, "Like what?"

Hermione whacked him on the chest and said, "Honestly, Harry."

Then she stood up and he said, "Hey. Where are you going?"

"Lavender and I came here to dance and meet hot guys. Neither of which we can do with you. What do you say Lavender?"

Harry looked like he would spit fire and Lavender giggled, "Yeah, let's go dance some more. Plus, I need another drink."

"We'll be back boys," said Hermione smoothly, before she leaned down and whispered in Harry's ear, "Jealously looks pretty hot on you, lover boy."

He smirked at her then just as she turned to leave, smacked her ass, making her jump in surprise. "Harry!" she whined, but he just grinned and said, "See you when you get back, Mione."

She grinned in return then left.

"What the hell did I miss? When did you and Hermione get together?" asked Seamus, practically falling out of his seat in his excitement.

"Hey guys. Thanks for leaving me to fend for myself with Hannah and Susan," complained Neville as he sat down in the seat Lavender had just vacated.

"Forget about that Nev, Harry is fucking Hermione!"

Neville choked on the drink he was just swallowing and said, "What?"

Harry glared at Seamus then said, "It's not like that, wanker."

"Well then what is it like because fuck if I'll ever get near her, she's fucking hot, Harry."

"Watch it Seamus," growled Harry, hackles raised.

"Wait a minute, start at the beginning. When did this happen?" asked Neville, curious.

Harry shrugged and said, "A few days ago."

"Bloody hell, Harry," said Neville.

"I thought you were with Ginny… and Luna?" asked Seamus.

"I was."

"But you're not anymore?" asked Neville.

"No."

"And now you're with Hermione?"

"I guess."

"You guess?"

"I mean we haven't really talked about it…"

"Then she might still be available?" asked Seamus, hopefully.

Harry leaned forward and punched him in the arm, "No, she's fucking not. Wanker."

Neville laughed and Seamus joined in making Harry growl, "What's so funny?"

"You are. I've never seen you possessive and jealous before," replied Neville.

Harry scoffed but didn't deny it. He focused his gaze on where Hermione last was but she was no longer visible through the maze of people.

"What's Ron think of it?" asked Neville seriously.

Harry clenched his jaw and took a swig of his drink before he replied, "He'll get over it."

"I bet he's mighty hacked off," added Seamus.

"That's his problem," snarled Harry.

Neville sat back and watched Harry, saw how tense and angry he was, then asked, "What happened?"

Harry took another drink then replied, "He was a right bastard to Hermione."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"No?"

"No. Not at all."

Harry sat back and scrutinized Neville, maybe he knew more about what happened between Ron and Hermione. "Do you know what happened with them? Why they broke up? What was going on while they were together?"

"Do you?" asked Neville evasively.

"What are you on about?" asked Seamus, suddenly confused.

Both Harry and Neville ignored him, sizing each other up.

"You know something," said Harry.

Neville shrugged and said, "Maybe. I saw some things… heard some things…"

"Care to share?"

"The real question is why don't you know? You're their best mate… Golden Trio and all that shit."

"He was too busy shagging witches last year to notice anything else," added Seamus laughing.

Harry snorted then looked away, filled with guilt. Seamus had it right.

They sat and drank for several minutes before Neville finally spoke. "I was out with Ron one night. He was wasted and kept talking about how sorry he was, how he didn't mean to do it, how he didn't understand why it kept happening. At first I thought he was talking about getting drunk, then he started talking about Hermione and I thought maybe he had cheated on her and was feeling guilty. But the more he talked the more it seemed like it was something else. He was adamant about going to her house and I remember feeling uneasy because Hermione hadn't come out that night. I guess I just wanted to check in on her… so I offered to help take him there."

"And?" asked Harry, sitting on the edge of his seat, looking like he was ready to throttle someone.

"When I brought him there, I thought she was going to refuse to let us in but Ron kept apologizing and he was making so much noise that she finally relented and let us in. As I walked him in and sat him on her couch I noticed she had been crying. I figured it must have been a pretty bad fight because I've hardly ever seen Hermione cry. I asked her if she was okay and she just brushed me off so I said goodnight and turned to leave. Just before I closed the door I looked back in, still concerned but not sure why and I saw Ron trying to touch her, he was walking towards her and she was backing away from him. She backed up to the wall until she couldn't go any further and he reached his hand out and touched her face… I remember the way she looked, the way she tensed up and flinched away from him … she was scared of him."

"So you just left her there? Alone with him?" fumed Harry.

Neville shook his head and took a sip of his drink then said, "No. I didn't. I marched right back in and pulled him away from her. They were both shocked, having completely forgotten about me. Ron lost him temper and tried to pick a fight with me. Hermione swore up and down that it was nothing, that she just didn't like it when he was drunk, but I didn't believe her. We ended up making so much noise we woke her parents, who quickly told us to leave. I was honestly glad because I wasn't getting anywhere with Hermione. She was obviously going to let Ron stay."

"Come on, you don't actually think Ron would hurt her!" interjected Seamus.

Neville shrugged and said, "I don't know but…"

"Did you ever talk to them about that night after?" asked Harry.

Neville shook his head and said, "I tried but Hermione avoided me for a long time after that night. She would brush it off as nothing and then disappear. Ron said he didn't remember anything when I brought it up with him. He said that they had gotten into a pretty bad fight and he said some things he didn't mean to. But he would never really look me in the eye and then he started avoiding me too. At least until after they broke up."

"You're crazy. There's no way Ron would do anything… he's a Gryffindor for fucks sake," said Seamus heatedly.

Harry stayed silent thinking about it.

Neville leaned forward and looked at Harry intently then said, "Look, I know it's not a lot, but I'm telling you something was going on. I know it. After that night I spent all this time thinking about it… if I missed anything."

"And?"

"There was one time I accidently walked in on her in the bathroom… it wasn't a big deal she was just fixing her makeup but I remember she quickly applied a glamour charm. I would have never known if I hadn't seen her do it. I raised my eyebrow at her and she made some excuse about not paying attention and walking into a doorway while reading a book and she didn't want everyone to make fun of her when they saw the bruise."

Harry clenched his fists, "Where was the bruise?"

"On her jaw."

"That doesn't mean anything. I mean come on, we all know how she is when she's reading!" denied Seamus.

Harry agreed internally but that's exactly why that excuse would be so brilliant, and Hermione was brilliant. Everyone knew that. "Even if something happened, I just don't understand why she would put up with it. She's fucking brilliant and seriously scary when she wants to be. She could take me out in a heartbeat."

"I don't know Harry. Like I said she would never really talk about Ron with me. Even when I pushed it and told her that she should walk away if he wasn't treating her right, she just said that she loved him and thanked me for caring but assured me that she was fine."

Harry nodded and sat back, finishing his drink off.

Neville sat back and did the same.

Seamus looked between the both of them, still in denial but also thinking furiously. "Wait a minute! Remember the big party you had at your house Harry?"

Harry rolled his eyes and said, "Seamus, I have a lot of parties. Which one?"

Seamus thought about it for a minute then said, "It was a New Year's party! Not this year, the year before."

Harry shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess."

"I remember because it was the first time Hermione had on those boots… the black ones that went to her knees. And she looked fucking hot and I…."

Harry narrowed his eyes at Seamus so he stopped talking.

Neville laughed and said, "I remember. She did look good in those."

Harry grudgingly said, "Yeah, ok. What about that night?"

"I was in the living room when she first got there and she was saying hello to everyone when Ron came in from the kitchen. He took one look at her and looked like he was going to explode. I remember laughing but then he stormed over to Hermione and dragged her back out the front door. We all laughed it off because well they always fought but…"

"What?"

"I remember thinking he was kind of rough with her. He really did grab her hard and drag her by the arm out of the room. When they came back she seemed fine, well I mean as fine as she usually was after a fight with Ron."

"Where was I?" asked Harry.

"I think you were upstairs with Ginny. I remember you two were fighting because Luna was there and Ginny was bullshit."

Harry grimaced and said, "Oh yeah, I remember."

"Still not a lot to go on…" said Seamus.

"I'm just glad she's not with him anymore," added Neville.

"Yeah," said Harry, looking out at the crowd. He had a lot to think about but he wanted nothing more than to find Hermione and take her home with him. Keep her safe and warm and all to himself. Mind made up he stood and said, "I'm going to go see if I can find her and then head home."

Neville nodded

Seamus raised his glass and said, "Cheers mate. Don't have too much fun tonight!"

Harry nodded and left, walking purposefully through the crowds to where he knew Hermione usually danced. It took him longer than he would like and by the time he reached her he was sweating and on edge.

She smiled genuinely when she saw him approach, "Hey lover boy."

He grinned and pulled her flush to him, "Hey beautiful."

"Fancy meeting you here."

"Hmm. What do you say we head out?"

She raised her eyebrow at him and said, "Where to?"

"My place," he said huskily.

She grinned and said, "Lead the way then Mr. Potter."

"No, after you Miss Granger."

She giggled and moved in front of him only to be pulled back into his embrace so he could whisper in her ear, "I'm so going to ravish you tonight."

"Is that a promise?"

"Fuck, yeah."

She squirmed against him purposefully then said, "Good," and escaped his arms to head towards the exit, pulling him along by the hand. They passed by Lavender and Hermione stopped to whisper in her ear.

Lavender rolled her eyes then said, "Be safe!"

"Night Lavender," said Harry as he was pulled away again by Hermione. And then they were outside and Hermione was on him, kissing him intently before she apparated them into his bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: This a short but sweet chapter… enjoy!

Harry and Hermione landed with a pop in Harry's dark bedroom. They stood there for a moment, inches apart and breathing heavy before Hermione closed the space between them, unable to hold back any longer. She threaded one hand in his hair, while the other began unbuttoning his shirt. Harry didn't waste time as he pulled her skirt up and then her knickers down. Hermione shoved his shirt over his shoulders and began nipping his shoulders playfully.

"Watch it you," Harry hissed as she bit him harder.

Hermione growled and said, "I want you, inside me, now."

Harry groaned then took Hermione by the waist and tossed her gently on the bed, crawling onto it above her. "Look at you now ... my brave, loyal, bookworm… so debauched and feral… wild and sexy. I hope you're ready for a long night because I'm going to take you over and over again, until you scream, love. Are you ready?"

Hermione leaned up and pulled her top off, then her bra, tossing them both aside before she said, "Give it your best shot, Mr. Potter."

Harry smirked as he kneeled and undid his belt, making a show of pulling his pants and boxers down at the same time, before tossing them off the bed. He continued to kneel above Hermione as he began stroking himself slowly.

Hermione licked her lips as she watched Harry, so turned on by his confidence in the bedroom. "Harry," she moaned, as she ran her hand up his chest over his taut shoulders.

"Mione," he growled as he positioned himself so that he was looming over her. He leaned down and nipped at her lips teasingly, while pulling her skirt down and off her legs. "So sexy," he whispered into her ear as he began running his hands over her nipples, stopping to pinch them every few seconds.

"Hmmm," she hummed, closing her eyes and letting the sensations wash over her.

Harry moved down and scattered kisses across her belly, paying particular attention to her left side as he remembered she was sensitive there.

"Ohhhh," she breathed, digging her nails into his shoulders.

He hissed as they broke through skin then said, "Naughty witch, I'm going to make you pay for that."

"Hmmm mmmm."

Harry quickly moved down and pushed Hermione's legs up and apart, before feasting on her.

She was so shocked by the sudden change that she didn't have a chance at hiding her response, moaning loudly over and over again as he continued to make her feel things that only he could.

"Merlin… fuck… oh yes… yes… fuck… yes…"

"That's it love, let me hear you."

"Don't stop!"

Harry chuckled, "Bossy little minx," before he continued.

"Yes… yes… yes…"

Suddenly Harry laid down on the bed and roughly pulled Hermione on top of him. She squeaked in surprise but before she could protest he half picked her up and half pushed her to the top of the bed so that she was above his face. "Harry, what?" But she never finished as he pulled her down so that he could continue what he started.

"Holy…fuck," she hissed as she grabbed onto the headboard for support.

"So good," he moaned as he gripped her hips tightly, holding her in place.

"Harry! Please… it's too much," she begged, trying to squirm away from him.

He held tight and a second later her body was rocked with spasms as she moaned loudly… until she was left a quivering mess. She collapsed to the right of Harry, shaking and satisfied.

He leaned up on his elbow and brushed the hair out of her face as he smirked down at her, "Feel good?"

Hermione blinked a couple times and nodded which made him smirk even more. He leaned down and kissed her lazily, letting her recover slowly. He couldn't explain how good it felt to have her in his arms, how much he wanted to satisfy her. It was a very primal feeling as if by satisfying her she would see that she belonged to him, with him. He shook his head, unsure why she made him feel things no other woman had. Unable to wait any longer he positioned himself and entered her slowly, before threading his hands with hers. He stared into her eyes as he pushed in and out, slow and hard. Every other thrust he kissed her, alternating light, then deep, sometimes just a nip or a lick, but always keeping eye contact. It was intense and felt much more like making love than any other time before.

She moved her legs, wrapping them both around his waist tightly as she arched off the bed to meet him thrust for thrust. "Harry," she whispered, over and over.

"Mione," he whispered back. He was so close but he was so enchanted by her that he didn't want to stop. "You're beautiful, so beautiful."

She blushed prettily and buried her head in the crook of his neck, gently licking and kissing all the sensitive spots she knew he had.

He squirmed at first, quite ticklish, before he couldn't take it anymore and rolled them on their sides to block her access to his neck. "Minx," he whispered.

She grinned and nipped his lips.

He nipped her lips back then positioned himself to enter her again, placing her right leg over his hips. They both moaned at the feeling of this new position, and grasped each other's hands again. They were farther apart than usual and it only increased their pleasure, as each stroke was long and slow.

"Oh God Harry," she gasped, overcome with desire.

"Mione, so good," he whimpered.

They continued this slow dance for some time, until they ached from trying to maintain the position. Harry wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close as he laid on his back, pushing her up gently so that she was straddling him. She blushed fiercely and he rubbed his thumb tenderly across her cheek, "Don't be shy, love, you're gorgeous like this."

She smiled shyly and he used one hand to guide her hips up and down, slowly, all the while cupping her face with his other hand.

She closed her eyes and let him guide her movements, slowly getting more comfortable.

Harry watched her, completely enchanted. He was overcome with love for this woman, this witch who had stayed by his side always, no matter what. "I love you."

His eyes widened as he realized what he said.

Hermione's eyes had shot open at his declaration and she had stopped moving, completely surprised.

They stared at each other for what felt like eternity before they both began to smile… a slow smile that spread. Hermione leaned down and kissed Harry for all she was worth before she pulled back and asked breathily, "You love me?"

Harry chuckled and said, "I love you."

She grinned and kissed him again but this time he pulled back and said, "Well?"

Her eyes twinkled and she asked, "Well, what?"

His eyes sparkled as he started to tickle her sides until she squealed and tossed herself next to him on the bed. "You're such a wicked witch, Mione."

She giggled as he loomed over her, arms on either side of her head.

"Say it," he demanded, good naturedly.

"Say what?" she asked, doe eyed.

He growled and began nipping her ear lobe and peppering kisses along her neck. Every few seconds he would whisper, "I love you."

"You're not playing fair, Mr. Potter," she moaned.

"Say it," he demanded.

"Harry…"

"Say it."

"Harry…"

"Mione, please," he whispered and there was something in his voice that made her pause. She looked deep in his eyes and saw how vulnerable he was, saw a glimpse of the boy she met on the train all those years ago. Tears came unbidden to her eyes as she finally said out loud what she had been afraid of for so long, "I love you, Harry."


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own Harry Potter.

When I look back on it, I should've known that it was too good to be true. I mean, I was blissfully happy… obviously something was going to go wrong. Harry and I had spent literally every waking moment together for weeks. We would go our separate ways in the morning but then meet up again in the evening, going out to dinner every night, socialize a bit with friends and then head home to spend the night having incredible sex. We were completely addicted to one another and I had never been happier. Which brings me to last night… Harry had decided to have a party at his house. He liked to do this every so often and it had been a while so he figured he was due. I was so excited because it was the first time I would be able to touch him all I wanted during the party, instead of watching a string of bimbos drape themselves all over him throughout the night. I made sure to arrive late, wanting to make an entrance, which Lavender found hilarious for some reason.

"You are such an alpha female, it's like you're marking your mate!"

"I have no idea what you're on about Lav," I denied fixing my hair in the mirror.

Lav cackled gleefully and said, "I love it! You look feisty tonight!"

I raised my eyebrow at her then resumed putting my make up on. Not too much, but just enough to make me look wilder than usual… eyeliner, lip gloss, mascara.

"Don't forget the perfume!" Lav giggled.

I rolled my eyes and said, "What has gotten into you tonight? You're like my personal hyena!"

She rolled her eyes and said, "Nothing, I'm just happy to see you happy. I have to say; I was really worried when you started fucking Harry."

"Lav!"

"What? I was."

"I'm not fucking him."

"Yes, you are!"

"I mean, it's not like that!"

Lav cackled again and said sarcastically, "Oh sorry! You make love…"

"We do!"

"You can call it whatever you want, but that man definitely fucks! He exudes sex! And don't deny it!"

"Oh my God, Lav! You are so crass!"

She tossed herself on my bed and said, "Come on, give me some details, I'm dying to know!"

"What?" I shrieked turning back to face her.

"Dish. I want details! How big is he? How does he use it? Is he good with his tongue? Tell me, tell me!"

I blushed and squeaked, "Lav!"

"Please, come on, I tell you all about my lovers!"

"I wish you wouldn't! I really didn't need to know that Dean loves ass play," I said, shaking my head.

More cackling, "Come on, please! Please! Please!"

"Oh Bloody Hell! Fine!"

She jumped up and squealed then set her face before she barraged me with questions. "How big is he?"

"Big."

"Mione!"

I huffed and held my hands out to show her.

"Ooh!"

I rolled my eyes

"How long?"

"Lav!"

"Just show me!"

I huffed again and showed her approximately how long.

"What's your favorite position?"

"Oh God," I moaned covering my face.

"Stop being such a priss!"

"Fine! On top, I like being on top."

She rolled her eyes and said, "Figures." "What's his favorite position?"

I sat down, knowing it was a lost cause to try and evade her curiosity. "From behind."

"Doggy style?" she squealed!

"No, not like that. He likes to be behind me, while we both lay on our sides. He says it feels really good to him," I replied, blushing.

"Ooh. That's a hard position, especially if the guy's not long enough."

"Lav!"

She waved me away and said, "How about foreplay? Is he good?"

"Yes."

"Don't hold back!"

"Honestly, you're incorrigible! He's great… he takes his time, I mean really. He doesn't just pretend by quickly touching all my parts to hurry up and get to the main event. He seems to enjoy making me moan. One night he spent hours just kissing and licking different parts of my body to figure out which ones are more sensitive than others."

"Did he find any new ones?"

"Lav!"

"Well, did he?"

"Yes! Turns out the back of my knees are so sensitive… and this one spot near my left shoulder blade, Morgana, I thought I was going to come just from his kisses on those spots."

"Ooh, I'll have to test those spots out. Tell me more!"

"What else is there to tell you?"

"His tongue! Is he good with it, know how to use it, come on!"

I blushed and squeaked, "Yes, very good with it. Sometimes when he gets really turned on he'll switch to parseltongue and I just about faint every time. I have no idea what he's saying but it doesn't matter because my screams drown him out. And that's saying something because I have never been a screamer."

"I'm so jealous! Any chance you'd let me try him out?"

"NO!"

"I'm just kidding, well, not really, but I promise to keep my hands off."

"How gracious of you," I replied.

Lav shrugged and said, "Well, are you ready? All this talk about sex has me extremely horny now…. I'm going to have to find someone to share my bed with tonight."

"You're terrible. You know Dean is going to be there, so you have nothing to worry about."

"Hmm."

"Let's go, you tart."

Lav giggled and wrapped her arm through mine and teased, "takes one to know one."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Maybe but only for Harry."

She giggled some more as we left my apartment for Harry's. It was somewhat infectious so by the time we arrived I was giggling like mad too. The party was loud and crammed by the time we got there and I immediately sought Harry out. He must have sensed me because he was turning towards me as I approached and basically tackled him with a ferocious kiss. He moaned into my mouth and wrapped one hand in my hair as I wrapped one leg around his waist, practically humping him. He used his free hand to hold my leg in place, running it up and down my thigh, under my skirt.

We heard whistles and cat calls and pulled back panting.

"Wow, what a greeting," he gasped.

"I missed you," I panted. Apparently my talk with Lav had made me horny too.

"Care to show me how much?" he teased.

I shoved him back against the wall and said, "Fuck, yeah," before snogging him senseless again.

"Get a room!" shouted several people, laughing.

Harry pulled back reluctantly and said, "Fuck, Mione, what's gotten into you?"

I smirked and said, "You have," as I shoved him into the corner chair. Then I moaned into his ear, "Over and over again… Night after night. Slow and hard and deep."

His eyes darkened in lust and he growled, "Don't even talk dirty to me Mione… I might just take you right here in front of everyone."

I smirked then whispered, "I dare you."

His eyes widened in surprise, before he pulled me on top of his lap for another make out session.

I moaned and ground onto him, not even caring that there were dozens of people nearby. The music was loud, it was crowded and everyone was dancing, drinking and having a good time. Plus, it was conveniently darker in the corner I had pushed him into. We were in his house and I was his girlfriend. Fuck what everyone else thought. He was mine.

"Unzip your pants," I whispered into his ear.

He pulled back away from me, looking directly into my eyes, obviously questioning my sanity.

"I'm not wearing any knickers," I whispered, then licked the underside of his ear.

"Mione," he moaned, squeezing my left thigh, hard.

"Do it," I demanded.

"This is crazy," he panted, although he was doing as I asked, as discreetly as possible.

"Fuck me, Harry. Please, right here, right now. I can't wait any longer," I begged.

"Fucking hell, Mione," he moaned, leaning his head on my shoulder as he looked down to line us up.

"Yesss," I hissed, loving the feeling of him inside me.

"I'm not gonna last," he whimpered, pulling me in for a desperate kiss. He flicked his hand behind me and I felt a ward go up.

"Come on, baby," I begged, squeezing him tight.

"Jesus Christ…" he gasped, before biting my neck as he buried his face in my wild hair.

"Oh, baby."

"Yes…" he hissed, moving one hand further up my skirt and under my ass, squeezing it hard.

"That's it…" I gasped.

He squeezed again, over and over, enjoying my reactions. He looked around every minute or so to make sure nobody was paying too close attention to us. His charm seemed to be working.

"What charm did you put up?" I asked, panting hard.

"No idea, I just wanted to be hidden," he stuttered, then gasped as I suddenly stood up and dropped to my knees in front of him, taking his whole length into my mouth.

"Fuck!" he moaned, wrapping both his hands in my hair, practically fucking my mouth.

I moaned around him and he closed his eyes in ecstasy as he came in my mouth without warning.

"Merlin's fucking balls Mione," he panted, when he calmed down enough to open his eyes.

I licked my lips as I leaned over him, zipping him back up.

He moaned and wrapped his hand in my hair again, forcing me down for a kiss. No force needed here though. Happy to oblige.

I moaned back and placed my hand on his pants and squeezed.

"Naughty minx," he hissed, pulling back.

I hummed in agreement before kissing him one final time, then stood back, giving him room to stand as well.

He chuckled then said, "I can't stand."

I laughed and said, "Okay, take your time. I'm going to go get a drink." Then I winked at him before turning and making my way to the kitchen. When I looked back he still looked dazed and confused. I smirked knowing it was good to keep him on his toes.

"Hermione!" called Dean from the corner of the kitchen, surrounded by several of my friends.

"Hey guys," I said, grabbing a drink off the counter on my way.

"Play a game with us," said Seamus, pulling a chair out for me.

I shook my head and said, "No way. I'm not nearly drunk enough to play one of your crazy games Seamus."

Everyone laughed

"Fine, who's in then?"

Lav, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Pavarti and Cho all indicated they were and I spent the next half an hour laughing at their antics. Eventually Harry found me and took to standing behind me playing with my hair, drinking and laughing along with all of us.

"Ron!" shouted Seamus as he looked behind me.

Harry and I both turned to see Ron smiling, coming our way, with, to our surprise, Luna. I looked to Harry and he simply shrugged before saying, "Hi guys."

"Hey mate, can I talk to you for a second?" asked Ron nervously.

Harry nodded and motioned with his head to the back door. Ron nodded and let go of Luna's hand following Harry outside.

Luna stood there awkwardly for a moment before I said, "Come sit and watch these crazies with me Luna."

She smiled gratefully and Seamus moved over to make room for her. It didn't take long for the group to restart their game, along with their insane antics. Which was such a distraction I didn't even notice Ginny entered the room until she sat down on Neville's lap to join the game. Merlin's beard, was there anyone at this party that Harry hadn't slept with? Is this normal? All this incestuous coupling? I shook my head, not wanting to think such deep thoughts right now. I picked up my drink and realized it was empty. "Anyone need another?" I asked standing up.

Of course, everyone said yes. I groaned and Ginny said, "I'll help." Before I could decline she was already in front of me walking to get more drinks.

"You didn't have to…" I said as I walked next to her.

"I thought we should have a chat."

I nodded and waited.

"You're together now?"

"Yes."

Ginny nodded

"Ginny…. I didn't expect this to happen."

Ginny sighed and looked away, "I know, I mean deep down I know. I'm still pissed but…"

"For what it's worth I'm sorry if I hurt you."

She nodded and looked over her shoulder to the kitchen then asked, "And Luna?"

"No Luna. I was clear on that."

She scrutinized me for a minute before she said, "I tried that too… just be careful Hermione."

I nodded, honestly surprised by her sincerity.

"There's something about her that he's drawn to… I never could figure it out."

"I know what you mean… but I'm hoping…"

Ginny nodded understanding what I didn't voice out loud.

I smiled and handed her several drinks before grabbing the rest and moving back to the kitchen. I was surprised to find that Harry and Ron were still outside. I deposited all the drinks on the table before heading outside to see what was going on.

"Hey." I said, approaching them.

They both had their arms crossed and were obviously angry.

"Hey," said Harry, loosening his arms to pull me to his side. He wrapped his arm around my waist, surprising me with his display.

I looked to Ron and said, "Hi."

"Hi."

The three of us sat there in awkward silence for several minutes before I asked, "Did I interrupt something? Do you want me to go back inside?"

"No," said Ron.

"No," echoed Harry.

Again, we sat in silence.

"Come on guys, this is ridiculous. What were you talking about before I interrupted?" I asked exasperated.

Harry looked to Ron to answer.

"I wanted to tell Harry that I was dating Luna."

I nodded and asked, "That's good, isn't it?"

Ron nodded and looked to Harry to answer.

I followed his gaze and raised an eyebrow at Harry.

"Yes, of course," he replied, but he didn't sound very convincing.

I narrowed my eyes at him and he squirmed, "It is good. I just worry that's all… Luna is, well, Luna."

"And?" I asked.

"Well… honestly, Ron can be a bit of an arse. No offence, mate."

Ron shrugged and said, "No, that's fair. But it's been good… I mean, we've been really good together. I swear."

Harry nodded

"I'm happy for you then," I said sincerely, surprised that I meant it. Looks like I was finally over Ron.

"Yeah?" he said, surprised.

"Yes. Why do you sound so surprised? Do you think I want you to be miserable?"

Ron shrugged and said, "I kind of deserve to be… after everything that happened… between us."

I shook my head and said, "No, you don't Ron. If things didn't turn out the way they did then I never would have ended up with Harry. And I'm quite happy with him."

Ron nodded and watched as Harry pulled me closer to kiss the side of my head.

"I'm pretty happy with the way things turned out too," said Harry.

"So we're all good?" asked Ron.

"We're good," said Harry smiling.

"We're good," I agreed.

"Good," repeated Ron smiling. "Let's head back in then because I'm starving."

"You're always starving," I teased.

"I'm a growing boy," he countered.

Harry laughed and opened the door for us to enter. He followed behind but stopped when he saw Ginny.

"Hi Harry," she said, raising her drink to him.

"Hi Gin," he replied, finally moving in and closing the door.

Everyone pretended to ignore them.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Good. And you?" he asked.

She smiled, genuinely this time and said, "I'm good, Harry."

"Really?" he asked, holding his breath.

"Really," she confirmed.

"Good."

She nodded and went back to playing the game, allowing everyone to breathe a sigh of relief.

Harry moved behind my chair again and leaned over me to pick up a new drink, before he settled himself and began running my curls though his free hand. It felt amazing, and I settled back enjoying his attention. I watched everyone, happy that things seemed to have normalized again. After a while some people got up and went to the living room and Harry sat down next to me. We joined in the next few games, taking advantage of any chance we got to snog. After what seemed like a dozen drinks but I knew was much closer to half a dozen I excused myself to go to the loo. Harry leaned over and whispered, "Lemon drop," to me before I left. I chuckled at his choice of password before I slowly made my way through the house and up the stairs. My God why did his bedroom have to be on the top level. I stopped halfway up eyeing the guest bathroom but then I heard giggling coming from inside it and rolled my eyes, continuing up. I was tipsier than I realized. By the time I reached his bedroom I thought my bladder was going to burst. "Lemon drop," I practically shouted before busting into his room, quickly shutting the door behind me. I chucked my heels into the corner and dashed to the attached loo, jumping back in surprise when I found Luna on the floor, retching into the toilet.

"Luna!" I gasped in surprise.

She groaned before she flushed the toilet and pulled herself up off the floor. "Sorry," she mumbled before turning towards the sink and running the water.

"Are you alright?"

She shrugged as she rinsed her mouth out over and over. When she was done, she splashed water on her face and neck, before turning the water off and leaning on the counter. To my horror she started to cry.

"Luna, what's going on? Do you want me to get Ron?"

That apparently was the wrong thing to say as it only made her cry harder.

"Ok, no Ron. Will you tell me what's wrong?"

She tried to pull herself together, wiping her face several times with a towel before finally speaking. "I'm so sorry."

I frowned, "Don't be silly, Luna. You don't need to apologize."

"You have to believe me it was an accident; I swear it was. Tell me you believe me," she begged.

Thinking she was utterly insane I replied, "I believe you Luna."

She slid to the floor and leaned against the vanity, obviously still upset.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" I asked sitting down next to her.

She shook her head and said, "No I don't but I think I have to."

I nodded and waited. And waited. And waited until, finally, she whispered, "I'm pregnant."

And just like that, with two simple words, my perfect, blissfully happy, world shattered.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own Harry Potter.

"Mione?" called Harry entering his bedroom. He noticed her shoes in the corner and a light on in the bathroom. "Mione? Are you alright? You've been up here for some time now," he said, turning the corner to enter the bathroom. "Luna?"

Luna was still sitting on the floor leaning against the vanity. She sniffled and wiped her face but said nothing.

"Sorry Luna, I thought Hermione was up here," he said still confused. "Are you alright?"

Luna sniffled and said, "Not really."

Harry frowned and asked, "Do you want me to get Ron for you?"

Luna shook her head and moved to stand, leaning on the vanity to do so. She closed her eyes as the nausea stirred again.

Harry stepped forward noticing that she was swaying now, "Hey, now, let me help you." He then wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her to sit on his bed. He gave her a few minutes to settle, all the while gently rubbing her back.

She finally took a deep breath and opened her eyes, "I'm sorry about Hermione. I'm afraid it's my fault she left."

"What? She left?"

Luna nodded and said, "I hadn't planned on anyone finding out so soon. I only just found out myself."

"What are you talking about Luna?"

"I'm so sorry Harry."

"About what? Luna, I don't understand what you're trying to tell me," said Harry, trying to be patient.

Luna stood and moved in front of him, forcing him to look up at her.

"I want you to know I don't expect anything from you."

Harry frowned

"Ron … he's such a good man. I wish I had found him sooner."

"Luna, I'm having a really hard time keeping up with you," said Harry, utterly confused.

Luna placed her hand on Harry's cheek and rubbed his face tenderly with her thumb, "Ron said that we could marry and no one would ever need to know."

"Know about what?"

Luna sighed and removed her hand from Harry's face only to grab his hand and place it on her belly. He tried to pull back, he was with Hermione now after all, but Luna held him firmly, "That the baby is yours."

Harry ripped his hand back and jumped up as if he was electrocuted. "What?" he hissed, full of venom.

Luna wrapped her arms around her waist protectively and took a step back from him. "You heard what I said Harry."

Harry narrowed his eyes and advanced on her, grabbing both her arms and squeezing hard. "You're not pregnant, Luna. You can't be!" he growled.

Tears fell, unbidden and she sobbed, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to happen! I swear!"

"You swore to me you were on the potion, Luna, you swore!" he yelled.

"I was, Harry, I swear!" she sobbed.

He shook her and said, "You did this on purpose, didn't you?"

She cried out as he squeezed her harder and said, "Harry, you're hurting me!"

He growled and shoved her onto the bed in his haste to get away from her. She sobbed as she pulled herself up off the bed, "I'm sorry, Harry!"

As he looked down at her sobbing on the bed his conscience came roaring to the forefront and he gasped at his actions, taking several steps away from her. "Oh God, Luna, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

She sniffled and wiped her face, watching him slowly crumble in front of her. He slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, staring at her apologetically. "Merlin, I'm a monster."

"You're not a monster Harry."

He looked at her incredulously and said, "I just yelled at you, shoved you down onto my bed and made you cry! That is not a normal reaction to someone telling you that… that they're…"

"Pregnant?"

Harry nodded

Luna stood up, moving to sit next to him on the floor, then she reached over and squeezed his hand, before she replied, "Well, it is a bit of a shock."

Harry sighed and said, "Yeah, a bit."

They sat in silence for several minutes before Luna patted his arm and moved to get up, but Harry put his hand on her arm to keep her there and said, "Wait. I… I mean… Do you… I… bloody hell, I have no idea what to even ask you!"

Luna smiled and said, "That's okay because I don't have many answers for you."

Harry nodded then asked, "Hermione and Ron know?"

Luna nodded, "I didn't mean to tell Hemione but she saw me vomiting and crying…and I just sort of spilled."

"You said something about Ron before… I'm sorry, my brain… it sort of short circuited everything out."

Luna smiled serenely and said, "He said he would marry me. This way no one would ever have to know that the baby is yours."

Harry frowned and asked, "Is that what you want?"

"To marry Ron?"

"No, to hide that the baby is mine?"

Luna shook her head and said, "No, not at all, Harry, but I don't want you to be forced into this. I can do this without you."

"Have my baby without me? Raise my child without me?" he asked appalled.

Luna nodded and said quietly, "If that's what you want."

Harry frowned and asked, "Why would I want that?"

"Because you love Hermione."

Harry groaned, the thought of losing Hermione was terrifying to him. Would she stay with him? Would she understand? Would she be okay with him having a child with another woman? If not, would he be willing to walk away from his child for her?

Luna moved closer and ran her fingers through his hair, calming him somewhat. "Take your time, Harry. Think about it, talk to Hermione about it."

Harry watched her get up to leave but then as she opened the door he blurted out, "Are you sure, Luna, that I'm… the father?"

She nodded and smiled sadly at him, "Yes. Ron performed the charm on me… we were hoping that it would be his but…"

"But here we are," finished Harry.

"Would you like to do the charm now to see for yourself?"

Harry shook his head, "No, I don't think… It's a bit of a shock, you know? Maybe once I've absorbed it a little…"

"Whatever you want Harry."

"Thanks Luna…. And I'm sorry, again. I never should have … I'm just sorry."

Luna came back to him and leaned down and kissed the top of his head, "Everything is going to work out Harry, you'll see."

"Hmm." He replied, watching her leave.

As soon as the door closed he flicked his wand locking it and resetting the password to something he'd never used before. He had no interest in seeing anyone else tonight. He didn't care what happened downstairs or how many people were at his house; he wasn't leaving his room again, he was just going to sleep his problems away. On that thought he chucked his clothes into the corner and crawled into bed, pulling the covers up over his head. His mind was racing with traitorous thoughts, bullying their way out…

 _he was going to be a Dad,_

 _he was going to have a baby,_

 _he was going to have a baby with Luna,_

 _he was going to lose Hermione,_

 _no, he was going to marry Hermione and have a baby with Luna,_

 _Luna was going to marry Ron but have Harry's baby,_

 _maybe they could all live in the same house,_

 _maybe they were all completely insane and the Ministry would take the baby away from them and give it to proper parents,_

 _a baby,_

 _his baby,_

 _maybe he would be a terrible father,_

 _maybe his kid would hate him,_

 _maybe Hermione would give up on him and go back to Ron and then they would get married and he would end up married to Luna,_

 ** _but that's not what I want!_**

 _a baby,_

 _his baby…_

He took a deep breath, finally able to slow down the freight train in his head, letting sleep take over.

…..

Harry woke and immediately wished he hadn't. He buried his head under the pillow and willed himself to fall back to sleep. After several minutes, he huffed and sat up, unsuccessful. He scrubbed his face with his hands, groaned and got out of bed. He stared at Hermione's shoes in the corner before heading to the bathroom to clean up. He got into the scalding hot shower and leaned against the wall, letting the water run over him.

 _He couldn't believe it… they were always careful, always._

 _How did this happen?_ _Why did this happen?_

 _He was finally happy with Hermione, blissfully happy, and now this._

 _At the same time part of him was happy, he had always wanted a child, he planned on having several in fact, just not now._

 _And not with Luna._

 _Luna… he was horrible to her last night._

 _He was just so shocked, and angry._ _A couple months ago, he would have handled it much better._

 _But now… now he had Hermione and he wanted to stay with her._ _Forever, as far as he was concerned._ _She was everything to him but how could he make her see that, how could he convince her to stay with him, now that Luna was having his baby?_

 _Merlin, that sounded so strange._

 _Luna was having his baby… and he didn't have much of a say in the matter._

 _She made it pretty clear that she was having the baby, with or without him._

 _The real question was what was he going to do about it?_

 _Stand by and do nothing, let her and Ron raise the baby, pretend to be an uncle?_ _Or a distant friend that showed up only around the holidays?_ _Not even a Godfather, like he was to Teddy?_

 _Thinking of Teddy made him think of Lupin, when he found out Tonks was pregnant… he had panicked and fled like a coward._ _He had been furious with him and the memory still made him furious._

 _He swore he would never, ever, act like that._

 _Like it or not, this baby was his and he wasn't going to run away._

Mind made up he finished his shower, knowing he needed to talk to Hermione before he told Luna.

…

I had spent the whole night crying my eyes out and had just finally fallen asleep when I was woken suddenly by Lavender, yelling into my room, "Get up, I brought croissants!"

Groaning, I shuffled into the kitchen, wrapped in my robe.

"Mione, you look like shit, girl," said Lavender, dropping a bag of pastry on the table.

I nodded and began to make tea.

"Did you have fun last night? I noticed you and Harry disappeared pretty early into the night," she teased.

I shrugged

"Mione?"

I turned and looked at her, tears falling down my face.

"Oh no, what's wrong?" she asked quickly moving towards me.

I started to cry, unable to hold it in any longer and she pulled me into her arms, hugging me. "Oh Mione, tell me what happened, please."

I sobbed, but managed to choke out, "Luna."

She pulled back, horrified and asked, "Did Harry… was he with Luna?"

I shook my head and tried to calm myself down while she frowned at me. After several attempts, I finally whispered, "She's pregnant."

Lavender gasped and said, "No."

I nodded and said, "Yes."

"Bloody Hell."

I nodded and went back to making tea while she absorbed what I said. I brought the tea over to the table and we both sat in silence for a while.

"I'm sorry," she finally said, squeezing my hand.

I nodded.

"I know how happy you've been with Harry. It's been so nice to see you so happy all the time."

I nodded.

"Did you talk about it? You and Harry?"

I shook my head and said, "No. I left as soon as I found out… Luna told me."

Lavender frowned and said, "What? Why would she tell you? Shouldn't Harry have told you?"

"I don't think she meant to tell me and I honestly don't even know if he knows yet, although since he didn't come find me last night, I'm guess he does."

"What? I don't understand."

"I found Luna throwing up in Harry's bathroom. She was upset and she just sort of told me. She apologized but I didn't stay for long after that."

"Do you think she did it on purpose? To trap him?"

I shook my head, "No. She was miserable. It obviously wasn't planned."

"Is it awful that I said that?"

I snorted, "I thought it too, but then I saw how scared and upset she was…"

"Merlin."

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop saying that, you didn't do anything."

"But I hate that you got hurt."

"You told me I would…"

"Mione…"

"You did… you warned me to be careful. You were right."

"I don't want to be right."

"I don't want you to be either."

They jumped at the sound of someone apparating into the living room, but neither moved.

"Hermione?" called Harry.

Lavender looked at me but I simply looked down into my tea cup.

"In the kitchen," called Lavender, standing up and squeezing my shoulder. "Call me when he leaves, I'll come back over."

I nodded.

Harry entered the kitchen and stopped upon seeing Lavender, "Oh, hey Lavender."

"Hey. I'm going to leave and let you two talk." She replied and left the room.

Harry stood there awkwardly before he sat down at the table with me.

"We need to talk," he finally said.

I nodded.

"I'm sorry… I don't know what happened, we were always careful. She was on the potion."

I nodded again.

"It was before we were together, you know. I would never… not with you."

Another nod.

"Bloody Hell, Mione, please look at me," he begged.

I looked up and my traitorous tears were falling again.

He reached out to wipe them away but I flinched back, away from him and out of his reach.

"I'm so sorry. Merlin, I wish this wasn't happening. I love you so much, so much it hurts."

I covered my mouth with my hand to keep the sobs in.

"I know this is awful of me to ask, but please, please don't leave me. I can't, I can't even think about losing you."

I sobbed and pushed myself away from the table, I needed space, I couldn't think or breathe with him so close.

He followed and grabbed hold of me.

I tried to push him away, but he was stronger than me, and before I knew it I was wrapped in his arms, sobbing against his chest.

"I'm sorry, so sorry," he kept whispering, repeatedly.

 _So am I,_ was all that kept running through my head.


End file.
